45 DAYS THAT SPED

There had been almost 2 months of hectric activity, despite which i have been sharing my views, but the last one month(my last post was on 15th june)was fernzy
at its peak.
Office, home and friends and realtives all had a share of my time with the result even before i relaised it was already July end approaching.

And i completed one more important thing which i had been palnning to complete, REgistration of marriage of my daughterAnd i admit i had done littel except entrusting the work to a well meaning friend affectionately called as Meesai R.
It had a dampening effect on purse but still considering atht both daughter and son in law find it difficult to have even aday's leave at their will and fancy, the money spent was worth while as the task was completed in an hour's time after all of us assembled sharp at 11.30 am on Friday, the 22nd.

And the period that went by had its share of parties too.Some for official reasons and some for personal reasons and some more for friendly reasons. The venues were different, the brands were different and the snacks consumed all were different. It was few times at Taj Connemara(presently known as Vivanta), once to take care of the passion of a friend at Distill, on few occasions at Ambassador PAllava, Kanchi and later at Benze club and lastly at GRT Grand.Every one of the occasion i ahd been conscious 0of the purpose of my visit and had resolved many issues which would have been difficult to solve sitting at office. And some of these occasions i also used to gauge and locate my second line and some of the meets had been palneed just to take care of a wounded heart or a hurted soul.Every time when i came out of the party i was also conscious of the need to take care of my self (courtesy my friendson and a waiting wife and an understanding daughter) and i was also equally awre that many of my achievements in these parties and hotels will not be known to the outside world and i will continue to be an unsung hero for what all i have done for this institution of mine to achieve under the most demanding circumstances.But there were a hand picked few with me who understood the rationale and purpose of my every such meet, would suffice in the longer run.And if i were to rate the visits, GRT, tokk the honours for its ambience, Taj took the lead for its variety of drinks, Knachi for its Rasa vadai, Ambassador pallava, for a friendly warm atmosphere and so on.

Coming back to the week end , ie today, the day started like any other day. HAVING BROUGHT THE FIGURES FOR THE QUARTERLY REVIEW TO SOME RESPECTABLE AND ACCEPTABLE LEVELS, YESTER DAY , after some hectic arguments wih all most all those who were top in the hiarchy, who were unreasonable, quarrel some and demanding for better results all at the same time (KNOWING PRETTY WELL THAT we were waging a war with our back to the wall),i hav edecided to stay put at home. One reason is that i really wanted to relax, the second reason is that i wanted to break the boredom of my wife to some extent atleast and the third reason is that today happens to be the anniversary day of my mother (by her adoption of me as her son).My wife dutifully performed teh early morning rites by going tothe temple and i was ready by the time she returned after spending some time in a soul searching prayer.

Then the visit to the movie...THEIVATH THIRUMAGAL" by Vikaram (about which another post in due course) followed by another movie...Vengai, .One movie known for its finer moments, touching love and affection and a beautiful back ground music, and the other known for its fast track with song and fight sequences pitched in between , Two movies, which are totally opposite to each other in their contents, presentation and what not.And Theiva thirumgal WON THE HONOURS FOR THE DAY.

By the time we returned after having some light snacks(Kozhakattai and masal vadai along with a steaming filter coffee/Tea)the evening was fast approaching. And i had sufficiently charged my self for the next week ,( the week which would take me thru the financials of the bank, for the nth time,) and i have given some quality time to my wife in the process breaking her monoyony to some extent.

I missed my daughter when i saw the movie Theiva thirumagal, and felt the same way when i saw the movie 'varanam aayiram" (whwn i missed my friend son).MAY BE THESE SEPERATIONS MAKE THE LIFE MORE INTERESTING AND THE BOND OF LOVE AND AFFECTION MORE STRONG..

I start the next week with peace and content at this point of time..

TO MY FIRST AND PRESENT AND FUTURE LOVE

அன்பிற்கினியவளே
உனக்கு என் வாழ்த்துக்கள்
உன் பிறந்த நாட்கள்
நான் மீண்டும் பூக்கும் நாட்கள்

பரிசு எதை தருவது
எது உனக்கு ஈடாகும்!
தமிழின் கவிதை ஒன்றே
ஈடில்லா பரிசாகும்!!

ஐம்பது வருடங்கள்,
ஐம்பது வசந்தங்கள்,

பிறந்தது முதல்
நடை பழகியது முதல்
பூப்படைன்தது முதல்
நேசம் சொன்னது முதல்

நிலை மாறியது முதல்
அரவணைத்தது முதல்
அழுதது முதல்
கலந்தது முதல்

பிரிந்தது முதல்
பின் இணைந்தது முதல்
உறக்கம் மறந்தது முதல்
உணர்வு நெகிழ்ந்தது முதல்

பிள்ளை முகம்
பார்த்தது முதல்
பெண்ணின் கண்
நோக்கியது முதல்

அன்பு செலுத்தி அரவணைத்து
தவறு களைந்து தன்னில் கரைந்து
செய்யும் உணவில் பாசம் கலந்து
சொல்லும் சொல்லில் நேசம் கலந்து

இருந்தபடி இரு
இயல்பாய் இரு
இனிமையாக இரு
என்றும் எம்முடன் இரு.

நெஞ்சமெல்லாம் காதலே
நினைப்பதும் நின்னையே
சக்தி நீயடி எந்தன்
சக்தியும் நீயடி.

என்றென்றும் அன்புடன்
எப்போதும் அன்புடன்
உன் அன்பன்

On love lost and gained

At the outset, my apologies to " friendson" for dealing on a subject where in he has portrayed hardly few hrs back , some observations ,( some of which may be contrary to views expressed herein ), published under his blog"transientlines @blogspot.com".

His post on "love, wisdom and such silly things", i admit, has given rise to the thoughts in this post.

I am reminded of the famour writer Sujatha, who boldly advocated in his novels that love is nothing but the chemistry of harmones in the body.I am also reminded of JEYA KANTHAN who narrated in his writings as to how people are hypocritic in not admitting that love leads to desire and desire leads to lust and as such they are inseparable and coexist.Then came BALA KUMARAN WITH HIS POWERFUL WRITINGS, MORE INCLINED TO PORTARYING THE WOMEN'S SIDE THAN THE MAN'S SIDE WHO CLAIMED that in all cases of crisis arising on account of love, it is only woman who are left high and dry.Now the issue is not as to who is right or who is wrong. The issue is primarily aimed at anlaysing whether we are reALLY grown up and matured to analyse our own reactions to love and hate.WHAT EVER HAS BEEN SAID BY THE WRITERS REFERRD TO BY ME AND THOSE ABOUT WHOM I HAVE NOT REFEERED (such as THI.JANAGI RAMAN, KA.NA.SU,PUDUMAI PITHTHAN etc whose novels also speak about the various facets of love and its impact)the fact remains that all these writers have also portrayed what they have experienced or what they have seen as those experienced by others.In other words there is no finality to any of those views. So long there is going to be human race in existence, the experience that they are going to undergo, love perse, is going to be as varied and complex as one's imagination can go.

I have visited DARGILING in the year after my marriage,i have visited ooty, when i have been blessed with a son and daughter, i have visited Kodai kanal when my children have started moving from child hood to adult hood and recently i had been to Shimla.During these years my love and affection has gone under stress and strain and each time, it has emerged stronger and bolder and i have a sence of joy and fulfillment.And i feel that the issue is one connected with consultaations, compromise, agreements and of course argument too.If there is a basic trust in the
character and capabiliies of the other person then even arguments tend to produce the mutually beneficial results and if there is mis trust then the whol;e word/read as world has become a fiasco.

The lesson that i have learnt so far in trying circumstances is that nothing has always got a permanant meaning,in other words good becomes bad and bad becomes good , tolerance becomes admantness and viceversa and thus every thing is bound to change and shall change over aperiod of time. For those who understand that change is constant, the recognition that the moments of joy and sorrow may not be constant will come.Once that recognition comes, expectations start decreasing. AND ONCE EXPETATIONS ARE ON THE DECLINE THE ACTS OF THE OTHER PERSONS START HAVING declining impact. I remain what i am and i allow the other person to remain what he or she is.In other words i know my levels of freedom and i also respect the freeedom levels of others.WE coexist appreciating each other and their needs. REAL HAPPINESS FILLS THE VOID THEN.

MAY THERE BE PEACE OF MIND AND HAPPINESS PREVAIL FOR ALL AROUND.

From a child to a mother

There are good times and bad times.These are basiclaly classified based on the events perse in one's own life and in lifves of those closer to one self.But if only some one sits back and analyse with out any prejudice, wisdom will be there to the effect that all times are good and it is the way we associste the events with it that changes the complexion.

The post and its contents are a reflection on the news of twin addition to my family circle.In the process i have become a grand father twice in a span of one minute,yes the arrival of twin sons to my co brother's daughter , one at 9.29 am and the other at 9.30 am, gave me those crowns.One , i am told looks like the mother, soft and chubby, while the other possibly reflects the father, cute, lean and mischivous.

It appears as if i have seen the mother of the twins herself as a kid only few days back.Yes at times decades appear like days and days appear like decades.All in life..and the life comes in circles.No doubt on that!!

Hardly 18 months back, i was extending a moral support along wih my wife to this mother of twins, blessing her for her desires to become fruitful.And in a span of 18 months she has become a mother , and the first one at that TO BE BLESSED WITH TWINS.

Having seen her in close quarters as a lovable daughter, an obedient child and an understanding/calm girl (in her teens) it is difficult to believe that she has now become a mother.A girl develops fast, they say compared to a boy, and it is something to be seen to be believed.And all said and done. i am sue that those twin kids are really blessed to have a mother like her, calm, cool and amiable...

MAY THE HEAVENS BLESSINGS BE SHOWERED ON THIS BEAUTIFUL FAMILY OF HERS EVERY SECOND..

TO THE STONGER SEX(OFCOURSE TO WEAKER SEX TOO)

LOVE, SOME SAY IS BLIND.Some claim it to be divine.Some others discount it as chemistry of harmones.This issue is as complex as complexity of people itself.

But one thing is common amongst all those comments.These comments are from those who have tasted love(failure or success)and those who have heard others' experience of love and chose to pass comments on the same.

As a person who had been through love,and in love,even on date (as there are diifrent levels on which love can operate and not necessarily between a womam and man alone as is normally constured by majority ) and as a person who had seen others going thru the pros and cons of love, i thoght i should blog on this subject, especially in the context of incereasing cases of broken hearts leading to abnormal behaviours , on the part of those who feel that they have been rejected by their mates.

Though i would not like to make it gender specific, for fear of being dubbed as gender biased, still i would like to make the statement that in the present day world, it is the so called stronger sex , who are found to be prone to the risks arising out of pain of a broken love than the weaker sex.MAY BE I AM WRONG AND MAY BE I HAVE BEEN CLOSER ONLY TO CAES INVOLVING THE STRONGER SEX.That is however besides the point.The basic point is why do we react the way in which we react.Do we have any other rational behavoiur which we can exhibit?/

As i have been often repeating in these columns , love can make or break.This statement need not be construed as a justification by those who chose to take extreme measures, on the pretext of overcoming the pain.I would like to recall the movie"Varanam ayiram" which came very close to exhibiting the pains of a broken heart(not broken love!) in the recent past.The plus point of the movie was that it went beyond the pains of the person in broken relationship or lost relationship.It focussed on those who are near and dear to the person who were experiencing pains themselves too , may not be of the same degree but more or less on equal degrees on seeing the plight of the peson whom they love and whom they look for ward to as their future hope.

I have analysed the reasons for the behaviour exhibited by various persons in the last 25 years of my life(i.e since i attained adult hood or rather a balanced mind)and more particularly in the last 3-4 year , for it is in the recent past that this number appear to swell.I can tabulate them as under:

1.Total trust and faith in the other gender (i.e Control of mind by the heart with the result there is lack of rationale approach).Of course, i do agree that love is blind, but that is applicable to physical traits (beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder) and need not extend to loss of rationale/logic witnessed in very many cases.
2.Failure to accept that other persons(in one to one relation) may have their own limitations and reasons for a decision (including the decision to choose or reject)and failure to appreciate that the other person has as much freedom as one's own self to do that.(Here again i am not contemplating or justifying that the other person can at his/her free will and choice can enter or leave a realtionship at the drop of a hat).
3.The belief that the world is lost , simply because one person had chosen to end a relationship.
4.The false notion that the person is rejected whereas what is rejected is the kind of relationship that is all along contemplated. It is possible that a relationship may still continue as good friends or well wishers to each other.
5.The sudden distancing of one self from the rest of friends and the family(when one is in serious affair) with the result the near and dear are first perplexed by the distancing factor and later at the erratic behaviour when the affair turns sour.VERYOFTEN THAN NOT THIS DISTANCING FACTOR ITSELF ACTS AN IMPEDIMENT IN RUSHING TO THE NEEDY INDIVIDUAL TO GIVE THE REQUIRED SOLACE AND COMFORT.
6.Sudden lack of confidence in ones own image, abilities, potential and what not arising as result of the break in realtionship.If only we could remember that life is a journey and all those who come across are passengers in the journey, it would be easy to appreciate that not only the journey shall come to an end and that the passengers need not necessarily travel till the destination/

The journey is more important than the goal in itself as my son used to say.LET US REMEMBER THAT THE WORLD HAS MORE THINGS TO OFFER.WHEN ONE WINDOW IS CLOSED ANOTHER DOOR IS opened and we fail to realise the same in our agony of pains. AN OPPORTUNITY IS LOST PERMANANTLY.

THE LIFE IS TOO PRECIOUS TO SPEND WORRYING ON SUCH ISSUES. YOU /EVERY ONE OF US ARE BORN IN THIS WORLD TO ACHIEVE SOME THING AND ONCE THIS RECOGNITION COMES IN ,WAY OF LIVING AND WAY OF SEEING THE LIFE itself will undergo a change.

Life is short, journey is long, opportunities are plenty, responsibiliies are more: the making or marring of a relationship is not in other's hands but in one's own hands.Cheer up and face the world, the world will reciprocate in equal if not in more measure. YOU DID NOT HAVE A CHOICE ON TWO OF THE IMPORTANT EVENTS IN LIFE, BIRTH AND EATH AND WHY WORRY ON LOSS OF A CHOICE OF A RELATIONSHIP!!IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE GIFTED WITH A BETTER RELATIONSHIP IN DAYS TO COME.......
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