TO MY FIRST AND PRESENT AND FUTURE LOVE

அன்பிற்கினியவளே
உனக்கு என் வாழ்த்துக்கள்
உன் பிறந்த நாட்கள்
நான் மீண்டும் பூக்கும் நாட்கள்

பரிசு எதை தருவது
எது உனக்கு ஈடாகும்!
தமிழின் கவிதை ஒன்றே
ஈடில்லா பரிசாகும்!!

ஐம்பது வருடங்கள்,
ஐம்பது வசந்தங்கள்,

பிறந்தது முதல்
நடை பழகியது முதல்
பூப்படைன்தது முதல்
நேசம் சொன்னது முதல்

நிலை மாறியது முதல்
அரவணைத்தது முதல்
அழுதது முதல்
கலந்தது முதல்

பிரிந்தது முதல்
பின் இணைந்தது முதல்
உறக்கம் மறந்தது முதல்
உணர்வு நெகிழ்ந்தது முதல்

பிள்ளை முகம்
பார்த்தது முதல்
பெண்ணின் கண்
நோக்கியது முதல்

அன்பு செலுத்தி அரவணைத்து
தவறு களைந்து தன்னில் கரைந்து
செய்யும் உணவில் பாசம் கலந்து
சொல்லும் சொல்லில் நேசம் கலந்து

இருந்தபடி இரு
இயல்பாய் இரு
இனிமையாக இரு
என்றும் எம்முடன் இரு.

நெஞ்சமெல்லாம் காதலே
நினைப்பதும் நின்னையே
சக்தி நீயடி எந்தன்
சக்தியும் நீயடி.

என்றென்றும் அன்புடன்
எப்போதும் அன்புடன்
உன் அன்பன்

On love lost and gained

At the outset, my apologies to " friendson" for dealing on a subject where in he has portrayed hardly few hrs back , some observations ,( some of which may be contrary to views expressed herein ), published under his blog"transientlines @blogspot.com".

His post on "love, wisdom and such silly things", i admit, has given rise to the thoughts in this post.

I am reminded of the famour writer Sujatha, who boldly advocated in his novels that love is nothing but the chemistry of harmones in the body.I am also reminded of JEYA KANTHAN who narrated in his writings as to how people are hypocritic in not admitting that love leads to desire and desire leads to lust and as such they are inseparable and coexist.Then came BALA KUMARAN WITH HIS POWERFUL WRITINGS, MORE INCLINED TO PORTARYING THE WOMEN'S SIDE THAN THE MAN'S SIDE WHO CLAIMED that in all cases of crisis arising on account of love, it is only woman who are left high and dry.Now the issue is not as to who is right or who is wrong. The issue is primarily aimed at anlaysing whether we are reALLY grown up and matured to analyse our own reactions to love and hate.WHAT EVER HAS BEEN SAID BY THE WRITERS REFERRD TO BY ME AND THOSE ABOUT WHOM I HAVE NOT REFEERED (such as THI.JANAGI RAMAN, KA.NA.SU,PUDUMAI PITHTHAN etc whose novels also speak about the various facets of love and its impact)the fact remains that all these writers have also portrayed what they have experienced or what they have seen as those experienced by others.In other words there is no finality to any of those views. So long there is going to be human race in existence, the experience that they are going to undergo, love perse, is going to be as varied and complex as one's imagination can go.

I have visited DARGILING in the year after my marriage,i have visited ooty, when i have been blessed with a son and daughter, i have visited Kodai kanal when my children have started moving from child hood to adult hood and recently i had been to Shimla.During these years my love and affection has gone under stress and strain and each time, it has emerged stronger and bolder and i have a sence of joy and fulfillment.And i feel that the issue is one connected with consultaations, compromise, agreements and of course argument too.If there is a basic trust in the
character and capabiliies of the other person then even arguments tend to produce the mutually beneficial results and if there is mis trust then the whol;e word/read as world has become a fiasco.

The lesson that i have learnt so far in trying circumstances is that nothing has always got a permanant meaning,in other words good becomes bad and bad becomes good , tolerance becomes admantness and viceversa and thus every thing is bound to change and shall change over aperiod of time. For those who understand that change is constant, the recognition that the moments of joy and sorrow may not be constant will come.Once that recognition comes, expectations start decreasing. AND ONCE EXPETATIONS ARE ON THE DECLINE THE ACTS OF THE OTHER PERSONS START HAVING declining impact. I remain what i am and i allow the other person to remain what he or she is.In other words i know my levels of freedom and i also respect the freeedom levels of others.WE coexist appreciating each other and their needs. REAL HAPPINESS FILLS THE VOID THEN.

MAY THERE BE PEACE OF MIND AND HAPPINESS PREVAIL FOR ALL AROUND.

On Relationships

I have been watching the tussles and the heart breaks witnessed time and again amidst the genders. I am conscious in not using the word, lovers or couples , simply because of the fact that the diffrence in gender in itself is a sufficient cause to create misunderstandings ,in waht ever be the type of relationship.

This is because that a male is not going to recognise the pain of his female counterpart when she is thru the delivering phase of a baby , however much he sincerely attempts to know about it and offer solace, Similarly the female counter part will never ever come to know the agony and pains that the male counterpart has gone through when she is going thru all those lablour pains inside the hospital.

It would be wonderful if both involved sit to gether , clasp each other 's hands and spend a few moments to gether in silence instead of eloquently describing how each has felt during those moments .At such times silence is the golden key which opens the closed doors and apply it self to the wounds inflicate dand imagined!!

Some one said that with all our vocabulary at our command still we could not heal a hurt or pain thru mere words while a hug, or smile or any other physical gesture possibly could replace thosands of words to be spoken to convey one's true feelings.

This is why when some one dear and near is away, not withstanding the constant touch you may have with him/ her still you feel like being by the side of the person in physical form to offer support and comfort.

Going bach to the conflicts i desscribed in the initial para of the blog,i have also found that those who are in love either exhibit great courage and wisdom and at times they also exhibit utter stupidity and lack of sensitivity.I know that the persons perse are not responsible for this type of behaviour for they are under the prowess and magical spell of the fourletter word "love'.And that is the reason nothing else counts for them except their love and in the process tempers run high, words flow without reasoning and if the conterparty also reacts with out reason there follows a stalemate.This could be true of 90 out of 100 cases and if 10 of 100 do not undergo the same type of experience hats off to them.

It is this 10% that we are required to follow and emulate. I do not normally give prescriptions of any kind to any one except saying atht the solution to any conflict faced by a person lies within the person himself/herself.Still i am tempted to give a prescription to those who have loved and lost, those who are in love and those who have seen their love blossoming into a marriage with or with out the support of near and dear.

YeS, FIRST THING IS TO RECOGNISE THAT THE TWO IN ANY RELATIONSHIPS ARE EQUALS.
THE SECOND IS TO LIVE TODAY, TODAY AND NOT OT LIVE YESTERDAY TODAY.
THE THIRD MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO REMAIN SILENT AT LEAST FOR FEW MOMENTS WHEN CONFLICTS ARE BROODING .

IF ( and that is the biggest if) only the same is not only preached but practiced , it would be the real connotation of love, for true love simply understands and do not argue.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI

Deepavali, the festival of lights . Every one would have seen its beauty and splendour in many forms and some like my son would prefer to keep away from the sound and noice created by it for his own justifyable reasons.BUt the purpose of this post is to establish an instant contact with every one reading this blog, however distant they are (I meant not only distance of places but also distanced hearts), and to make use of the festival,,an alibi!, to wish them good luck and happiness in all endeavours that they are presently in and those that they are going to embark on in days to come/ for rest of their life.

Deepavali has many symbolic messages,Hindus , atleast those in southern INdia , consider it as a victory of Goddess (God took the form of Mohini, the eternal beauty)to avenge on NARAGASWARAN.At the request of Naragarawaran, the god gave the last boon to the dying soul, that his death will not be an occasion for any one to shed tears, but it would be a moment for every one to celebrate and rejoice,for his death symbolically represents the victory of GOOD over EVIL forces.

AND HERE COMES THE WORTHY LESSON. Day in and day out we suffer, we fight, we are challenged,we are overcome and exhausted by evil forces in many ways. Corruption,falling ethics, deterioration in values, dis regard to elders and superiors and so on and so forth. Despite all these odds and the limitations in which we function(the famous author NA PARTHASAEATHY, IN HIS FAMOUS NOVEL PON VILANGU draws a beautiful reference to this state of affairs when he uses the word "SOOZH NILAYIN KAITHI..TRANSLATED AS "PRISONER OF CIRCUMSTANCES"S) at the end of the day when we retire to bed, if wec ould recall the way in which we have spent the day, we will recall how many odds have been overcome and how subtly and how deftly we have conqured many evils (internal and external) at the same time. Thus every day in fact is worth celbrating as Deepavali by those who have steadfastly stood by their goals/karma and did every thing to attain it. AGAIN i did not mean the effect of it, i mean the efforts towards it.AND THAT IS ENOUGH!!

Coming back to the festival perse, it is also called the festival of lights. In fact down south there is a seperate festival of lights, called Karthigai deepam. The famous temple in South called Thiruvannamalai,(Malai neans HILL) willbe the centre of attraction on this day when the HOLY LIGHT willbe spotted on the top of hills when all houses and all temples simultaneously will be litting lights .The whole town will suddenly becomw acity of lights and perhaps the diwinity and unity seen in that moment is GOD himself.

Deepavali is associated in my earlier times(or as per my eraliest memories) with purchase of new clothes, firing of crackers, eating of sweets and more particularly exchanging pleasantries with neighbours, friends and relatives. With communication becoming an explosive force in the currrent century, and with every house hold having atleast as many cell phones as the number of persons in the house..Note..I am yet to possess one:)the visits to homes and to exchange pleasantries have almost stopped.With DIABETES, the silent monster entering every house hold, sweet consumption has also halved. Still the wonder remains as to how so many sweet shops (chain stores at that) are making a merry kill during these festive seasons!!Waht still remains is the arrival o9f rains (almost always around deepavali), slippery streets, the deafening noice of crakers, and the smog created by the fire, smoke and the glloomy sky atleast as far as Chennai is concerned.

My child hood charm of deepavali is identified with new clothes. In those days there was only one occasion(deepavali) when you are assured of atleast a new shirt, if not pants. NEXT CHARM is the visit to elder's houses when you will get lot of things to eat.At home the carm lies with Steaming IDDLIES served with Milagai podi and nallennai. I remember consuming thru out the day , only iddlies, iddlies iddlies in that order.Still, to date, my weakness for the same have not subsided a bit!

Over a period of time, as would normally happen with the widening of knowledge horizon, it has dawned now that the festivals are meant to bring about an econonmic upheaval. Think of the number of shops that survive during these periods by wooing any one and every one with their products.But that is at a macro level At a micro level the festival is intended to bring about a bondage among the family, friends and relatives.With TVs coming to the centre hall of each home, even this bonding is threatened nowadays.

BUT THE BOND OF LOVE AND AFFECTION IS SO STRONG THAT IT WOULD SURVIVE ANY NUMBER OF THREATS.HERE AGAIN IT WOULD BE A SUCCESS OF THE GOOD OVER THE TEST AT THE END.

LET us therfore celebrate deepavali to bring to gether our love and affection and may the world in that process become a better place of peace and prosperity to live in.

birth day celebrations

I have often wondered and often passed stringent comments on thsoe who used to celebrate birth days.In fact i do not recall any celebrations in my house hold itself till i turned 15, of any bith days, be it that of father , mother , sisters or brother.

Perhaps my hardened stance on birth days is due to lack of celebrations of any such birth days in my younger years or perhaps it may be attributed to my own revulsion at the way in which some of the political leaders used to make it as an advertising compaign to reach their ends.

I think my first remembrance of a birth day was when my father turned 60 (Shastiapthapoorthi celebrations).And mind you i was hardly 5years old and thus the memories of this event were as temporary as a passing shadow.

The time when i realised the importance of a birth day was when i moved to my sister's house, when i was about 13years old.My sister and brother in law, in their income, which was then just sufficient to make both ends meet used to celebrate their birthdays, those of their siblings and that of mine too.Even then i used to think it as a waste of money as i knew how difficult to earn a rupee in those days.But my brother in law(in his best moods) is a person whose passion, enery and enthusiasm in such matters is sort of contagious and whether you wish or not you will be engulfed by it.

There will be invariably a visit to the temple in the morning hours, follwed by some sweets at the house, some outing to a theatre near by in the evening ,preceded by a session at a near by hotel (it used to be invariably My coffee bar near Shathi theatre in those days).The sessions at the hotel used to be fun (and at times embarassing too) as he(my BIL) used to order for a plate of bajji or Mangalore bonda(to which my wife developed an instant liking in those days and may be for the same reason i developed an instant dislike!!) and then start cutting it and distributing to the memebers of the family.(If you count it there will be atleast half a dozen members ).Obviously with the first round of distribution the tiffin is over.

What was behind that distribution is love and affection,A desire to treat in the best way possible not withstanding the limitation of resources and ensuring every ingredient is present (thogh in limited manner)to make it lively At this point of time in life when i spend hundreds of rupees on any outing and when i compare the outings i used to have then and now, and the levels of satisfaction derived,then and now, the former is a winner, hands down.

And the habit imbibed from my BIL slowly grew and as it normally happens , found its outlet when i became a lover/husband/father in that order.And slowly the pleasure of giving, rather than the pleasure of receiving started sinking in.And also the message behind such celebrations.

The birth is a god send gift to us and lease period is in suspence..In the intervening period, it is not merely enough if we have our love and our affection on those around us unless the same is given an outlet in some form, be it words, be it some gifts ...

And only very few people like my son have a gift of words to show their love and affection with out any contamination whatsoever..Those who would like to have a glimpse of his vocabulary , reach and depth may pay a visit to his blog "The endless
horizons" .

This post is not intended to have a reference to the blog, it is a reference to the
energy, love and affection that such words can show on one's birth day making him/her feel as if he/she had really done something worth justifying their living in this universe.

If that be the case every birth day is worth celebrating, for it is reiteration of values, bonding, friendship and ever lasting love and affection..AND THAT IS THE LESSON LEARNT ON THE 60TH BIRTH DAY....

A MOMENTOUS DAY AFTER 4 YEARS

3/10/2010

The sky was overcast.There were welcome drizzles.Only for a short time. But enough to create the right mind set for us to rejoice the day in full.

Yes an occasion that calls for celebration and celebration of the highest order.This was the day when my choice of a female child was honoured by the almighty, 25 years back.It was the birth day of my beloved daughter.

And we were together to celebrate the event, after a span of 4 years of seperation when she was busy and away from us with her academics first and with her career later.Yes of course, the absence of her beloved brother ,to be with us, on this day was to some extent a dampening one .But then we overcame that by talking with him atleast 3/4 times ,there by making it appear that he was there with us mentally if not physically.

And when i look back these 25 years, i have got more than one reason to feel contended and grateful.From a child (when she beat her brother in taking the first subtle step to walk) till now, it had been a colourful episode, marked by her stunningly passionate(yet underlined by a very subtle and soft undertone)escapades .The first ever memories however point out to a child always leaning and longing for her mother.BuT AS DAYS PROGRESSED THERE WERE MORE SIMILARITIES between father and daughter(as my son used to recall often) in various walks of life, including taste for chilly food and an admiration to carrer options.

Getting the state rank in economics, completing the career at college by travelling thru a rode, which was under construction (from the start of her graduation till she finished it!!), getting involved in an accident which could have proved fatal, but coming out of it with no grudges or complaints, all point out to a firm personality behind the facade of that lean outer traits and that ever ready smile on the face.It is a beautiful flower with lovely fragrance but which will not be withered by outside happenings. There is a steel of nerve and a passionate heart within ,which makes the life growing and flowing all at the same time.

You can leave a house in rambles and come back after an hour to see that every thing is in place, bright and beautiful under her care.Whether it be her willingness to extend a helping hand (or a scratching hand!!) to relieve me of the itching which develops only when i sit for my dinner, or whether it is the soothing words with which she address me and my wife when ever we are about to make an argument into a war of words, or whether it is the swiftness with which she changes her dresses (Her fondness of new dresses, Chappals ,gadgets etc ,not necessarily in that order is itself a trqat to watch), the speed with which she addresses a problem ...oh the list is endless. She is a precious child and a gift of god .

May all her wishes come true and all her dreams become a reality. To mark that special day, we went for a break fast at one of the secluded but still popular restaurant in the morning, followed by a movie(seen by her for the second time in twenty four hours, to keep us company), and then a lunch at Sangeetha . I was teasing her for a commission on taking her to Sangeetha(details are personal).
By the time we returned back home, it was a day lived in its true colours , befitting the occasion and possibly setting the right tone and a note of music to linger for ever indays to come in her future.

My dear daughter
I ADMIRE YOU,
I ADORN YOU AND
I PRAY FOR YOU &
above all
MY DEEPEST AFFECTION AND LOVE TO YOU
on this momentous day...and every day that follows..

LOVING A CITY

New places have never been uncomfortable to me. In fact i love visiting as many places as possible,in the span of next 10 years or so (when my mobility is still intact)so that i can mingle with these places and get to know their nuances.

Perhaps all this liking started because of my father's employment in Raiways.He used to get passes for journey for himself and his family atleast once in an year.Possibly that was the greatest charm of railway employment in those days.I remeber travelling with him to quite few places during my child hood(i.e for about 5-6 years) as my father retired from active service when i was just 5 years old.Still there were visits occasionally after his retirement too,but these were far and few.

In the cosy comfort of the first class(you may hve to travel 30 years back to imagine what a first class compartment would look like in those days),in the warmth and security of father's arms , each station that passes by is a treat to watch. More importantly , because of the position that my father occupied in Railways and due to the respect shown in those days to those travel by first class(mind you it wasa luxury to travel in first class those days,A/C trains were not heard then), in each station uniformed railway staff would keep enquiring about food/coffee /tea requirements.And the food that is served used to be of great taste and quality.MEALS USED TO BE SERVED IN LOVELY designed plates(with no spilling over) with a beautiful cloth wrapped around the contents till it is served.Similarly the tea/coffee jars will have a unique style and greatness about them(Possibility of the british culture inculcated in them).To supplement the same, mother (who is equally fond of travels) used to bring some select items (nothing when compared to waht my wife packs of fro a train journey when she is in the right mood to travel).But a mother's touch is always different ..is it not? That much as reasons behind my fondness for travel.

The earliest journey green in my memory was the journey from Villupuram(Tamil nadu) to Vijayawada(Andhra pradesh).The hot iddlies on arrival at Vijayawada (with its great combination of Gongura chutney..my mouth waters even writing about it)the sound of train when it passed over the river Krishna, the rushing waters of Krishna below, the beautifully illuminated Goddess KANAGA DURGA temple at Vijaya wada all engraved in my memoery, instantly.SInce then there were quite a few small journeys between Chennai and Kumbakonam where my brother was staying.It used to be a night train and when we get down at Kumbakonam in the early morning hours the wind will carry a chill (courtesy , the river Cauvery which used to run at the back yeard of the houses, to its brim in those days) , the different types of Holy songs from the loud speakers from various temples in and around(Kumbakonam is called as City of temples for obvious reasons), the flavour of steaming coffee (from the famous Mangala Vilas -Brahmanal coffee kadai in those days)again stole my heart.

Then there were journeys to various places on account of career/Job.To Hyderabad,To Bangalore, To Kolkata ,To Mumbai ...all most all main metro cities .I had never felt alien or disturbed in any of those places. Instead i used to feel the very moment of my lnding at these places as if i used to belong to these places for ages.I am still unable to decipher the reson for the same(one of the points which used to be the cause for chiding by my wife who loves Chennai, Chennai , Chennai in that order!!) .Probably this made my stay/settlement at thse places much faster as compared to siblings of my age in those days.When you like a place(or for that matter a person, with out anticipating anything in return) i belive that there is more than reciprocation form the other end too and that has made my living an easy task in these places.

Yes, When you go to alien places, start developing a natural liking to the place, you will find that all other routine obstacles of anew place will fade into oblivion.And all said and done, i havae to admit one thing...The charm of journey under the warmth of my father , is not felt since then..Perhaps it is my turn to pmart that warmth to my children..I have been trying to do it whenever i can, and i think that they will also enjoy these conmforts and satrt liking the places they vist in their journey of life.

A JOURNEY DOWN THE MEMORY LANE

Scene-1
It was a saturday after noon when i got the message and rushed from office.It was some 25 years back .

I had the first look.At this time i could not exactly recall the feelings which i had then,But i remembered heaving a sigh of relief.I was not knowing then that this relief is going to revisit me often during my life journey.

Scene -2
it was the vijayadasami day, 5 years later.Both me and my wife have been preparing ourselves as to how to prepare our selves for the event and how to handle should there be cries/tears.Then came the surprise.He just went in, with out even batting an eye lid or even turning back to wave at us.Again a sigh of relief...

Scene -3
It was an year later at school day celebrations,Fancy dress competition.A cute smart child takes the audience by storm, by walking onto dais, with calm eyes in saffron cloth and declares in a serene and firm voice 'SARVO JANA SUGINO BHAVANTHU".It was probably an indication of events that are to follow wherein the role of wiping the tears of others by being emphatetic to cause of others , is going to be witnessed.This time it is a sigh of pride..


Scene-4.
15 YEARS LATER.Airport at Hongkong.It was a wait since morning.The air craft arrived about an hour ago and still no trace .Anxieties keep building up.No way to enquire and find out.Then when the unnecessary fears and anxities almost reach the point of blowing up, the big screen out side the arrival lounch indicates arrival, and then follows another sigh of relief.Heavens open to rejoice and down pours last almost thru the journey from airport to City.

Scene -5
It was a holiday in chennai , and a septemeber evening.Through a chat over the computer (which used to be on and often),comes a message wallowing in self grief, but clearly indicating the firm decison rising out of pain of doing some thing which is not to the liking.The pain, when shared gets released and then follows relief..

Scene -6
It was 3 years later.A message awaits at the office that there will be an event to reward the outstanding graduates. Office routine prevents any luxury or even a freedom to attend such important event.It was excatly a week later the photograph depicting the moment of triumph comes in hand and now it is a sigh of great honour,pride and pleasure, all at the same time.

Scene -7
It was 2008.March.Hyderabad.Over a cup of coffee, in the back ground of a drizzling sky , the news is broken.War of hearts.Initial reaction was surprise and then a sigh of great relief-for it signifies the adult hood, acceptance of good and bad mutually.

Scene -8
2008 again.A saturday.Heavy heart and agonising moments.October, for a change is causing hurt.Second seperation in a span of 3 days . More than the physical seperation, the fall out of the relationship and the hurt that it inflicated.This time it was not a sigh of relief but a sigh of anxiety and anguish.

Scene-9
2009-July-Hyderabad.Life has come through an whole circle.The results announced indicate the topper, proving to the self and the world outside the tenacity within and the desire to fight and conquer than to lament and perish.This time it is a sigh of great joy, for it is the confidence which has been restored at levels beeter than at any time in the past.

Scene-10
2010-MARCH

News from Hongkong .Exactly reunion after a decade with another great city, in the offing.It is now received with such a balance of mind wherein there is no great celebration.Now the life has taught what the goal is and how to go about it.There is only a sence of purpose, sence of acievement and a sence of gratitude.

NOW COMES THE GREATEST OF RELIEF.AN ADULT WHO KNOWS HOW TO CARE FOR HIMSELF AND IN THE PROCESS TO CARE FOR OTHERS HAVE ARRIVED.

"MAGAN THANTHIKKATRUM UDAVI,IVAN THANTHAI
ENNOTRAN KOL ENUM SOL"

thanks to Thiruvalluvar....

Surya -The sun

Surian in Tamil langauge means the Sun God,and i would like to clarify at the outset that this post has no connection what so ever with the Sun-god.It is more with reference to the human beings, with Surya as their names whom i had occasion to move with/learn about..

And believe it or not, true to the names the incumbents, whichever gender they belong to, exhibited the warmth, brightness and the energy like the sun.

I recall that in my memory path , the first reference to Surya is to one of the siblings of my close realtive.I used to visit their home when i was alone In New Delhi(due to job compulsions) and used to frequent their home.,during week ends.
POssibly a child at the age of 8 or 9 perhaps, she has always been roaming around with a smile which is natural which normally comes out when a person is not under a compulsion to smile.With both her parents employed, i have seen her taking care of her younger sibling (2 yerars younger) till her parents return.The hospitality shown to visitors is always a treat to watch.To top it all she has been continuously arank holder in her academics that she pursued.The seed shows the quality of the tree. And yes , now in her adult hood she is employed with one of the leading financial institutions in MUMBAI and is perhaps taking home a salary , at double the levels of mine(which i have started drwaing only an year back!!.The point is not about the money /salary. The point is that even as of now, she is the same old kid Surya , in her approach, attitude marked with pleasantness, and the brilliance.

The next Surya, is the one belonging to Bolly wood.Perhaps i have seen almost all his movies though i am not a regular movie goer.What has impressed me about him, other than his acting talents is his sincerity of love when he wedded Jothiga, his coactress, possibly surmounting the family obstacles and patiently waiting to win any one and everyone's support for the same in due course of time.And his contribution to the society.Quite a few actors have been conscious of the society and have been contributing their mite(my first idol in this regard is KAMAL) , but the way in which Surya has started his association with noble causes (even before he became a celebrity so to say) including his participation in 'SAVE THE TIGER COMPAIGN" show his down to earth personality and the deep concerns that he has to wards uplifting society and his love for animals too.(i am specifically drawing reference to his love for animals as those who are capable of love , love every thing...human or other wise..and that is the major grandeur in life..to be in a position to love, whether it is reciprocated or not, for true love brings the harmony and peace within).

My last reference to Surya, is to a kid, hardly 2 years old.I remember the occasion when i went for the Seemantham celebration,to mUmbai, when the kid was in the womb of its mother waiting to see the world.Then the dawn arrived and so also Surya. The next time it was when i went to spend some time with my son who was working in Mumbai, who had the lively company of little Surya to give him some smile and comfort whenever he returns from a busy day at office, lonely and tired. And when i visited tahn i was attracted by 2 main features, one the dark,beautiful and energetic eyes and the second, its smile, readily available as and when you call the kid by its name.The third occasion was in Oppiliappan temple, the event being the first birthday of the kid, when its dark , dangling hair all over the head, had been cleanly shaven., a dazzling "mottai" in tamil, and i love "mottais" and i get happiness by a touch of such young children .And when ever i touched, Surya acknowledged with a smile.Then in the recent fortnight when i had been to Bhopal to visit my siter.Surya has also arrived with his patients. And two days with Surya, the games that we played(a fifty eight year old with a two year old), the echoing sounds which Surya emiited, the tingling of laughter all tru the day, the teasing moments we encountered when Surya gave a nice kiss to every one , except my wife who was begging for it almost from the time she arrived(Surya compensated later by hugging her and kissing her in exchnge for some "kalkandu")Alas , she has to bribe the child for a kiss, where as we all got it as a matter of right..Enough stuff for me to keep teasing my wife on that count ...

Children are really a reflection of the God.Their presence and their nearness is adequate to give you a smile and comfort.Possibly it is the quality exhibited from the child hood which mark the later part of life as an adult. If that is true,Surya, the kid, is going to tempt women around him in days to come with his teasing smiles, mischivous cries, and hide and seek games.And yes, the eyes are going to be his weapons to destroy the opposition, in split seconds..Glory to Surya..

TO THE STONGER SEX(OFCOURSE TO WEAKER SEX TOO)

LOVE, SOME SAY IS BLIND.Some claim it to be divine.Some others discount it as chemistry of harmones.This issue is as complex as complexity of people itself.

But one thing is common amongst all those comments.These comments are from those who have tasted love(failure or success)and those who have heard others' experience of love and chose to pass comments on the same.

As a person who had been through love,and in love,even on date (as there are diifrent levels on which love can operate and not necessarily between a womam and man alone as is normally constured by majority ) and as a person who had seen others going thru the pros and cons of love, i thoght i should blog on this subject, especially in the context of incereasing cases of broken hearts leading to abnormal behaviours , on the part of those who feel that they have been rejected by their mates.

Though i would not like to make it gender specific, for fear of being dubbed as gender biased, still i would like to make the statement that in the present day world, it is the so called stronger sex , who are found to be prone to the risks arising out of pain of a broken love than the weaker sex.MAY BE I AM WRONG AND MAY BE I HAVE BEEN CLOSER ONLY TO CAES INVOLVING THE STRONGER SEX.That is however besides the point.The basic point is why do we react the way in which we react.Do we have any other rational behavoiur which we can exhibit?/

As i have been often repeating in these columns , love can make or break.This statement need not be construed as a justification by those who chose to take extreme measures, on the pretext of overcoming the pain.I would like to recall the movie"Varanam ayiram" which came very close to exhibiting the pains of a broken heart(not broken love!) in the recent past.The plus point of the movie was that it went beyond the pains of the person in broken relationship or lost relationship.It focussed on those who are near and dear to the person who were experiencing pains themselves too , may not be of the same degree but more or less on equal degrees on seeing the plight of the peson whom they love and whom they look for ward to as their future hope.

I have analysed the reasons for the behaviour exhibited by various persons in the last 25 years of my life(i.e since i attained adult hood or rather a balanced mind)and more particularly in the last 3-4 year , for it is in the recent past that this number appear to swell.I can tabulate them as under:

1.Total trust and faith in the other gender (i.e Control of mind by the heart with the result there is lack of rationale approach).Of course, i do agree that love is blind, but that is applicable to physical traits (beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder) and need not extend to loss of rationale/logic witnessed in very many cases.
2.Failure to accept that other persons(in one to one relation) may have their own limitations and reasons for a decision (including the decision to choose or reject)and failure to appreciate that the other person has as much freedom as one's own self to do that.(Here again i am not contemplating or justifying that the other person can at his/her free will and choice can enter or leave a realtionship at the drop of a hat).
3.The belief that the world is lost , simply because one person had chosen to end a relationship.
4.The false notion that the person is rejected whereas what is rejected is the kind of relationship that is all along contemplated. It is possible that a relationship may still continue as good friends or well wishers to each other.
5.The sudden distancing of one self from the rest of friends and the family(when one is in serious affair) with the result the near and dear are first perplexed by the distancing factor and later at the erratic behaviour when the affair turns sour.VERYOFTEN THAN NOT THIS DISTANCING FACTOR ITSELF ACTS AN IMPEDIMENT IN RUSHING TO THE NEEDY INDIVIDUAL TO GIVE THE REQUIRED SOLACE AND COMFORT.
6.Sudden lack of confidence in ones own image, abilities, potential and what not arising as result of the break in realtionship.If only we could remember that life is a journey and all those who come across are passengers in the journey, it would be easy to appreciate that not only the journey shall come to an end and that the passengers need not necessarily travel till the destination/

The journey is more important than the goal in itself as my son used to say.LET US REMEMBER THAT THE WORLD HAS MORE THINGS TO OFFER.WHEN ONE WINDOW IS CLOSED ANOTHER DOOR IS opened and we fail to realise the same in our agony of pains. AN OPPORTUNITY IS LOST PERMANANTLY.

THE LIFE IS TOO PRECIOUS TO SPEND WORRYING ON SUCH ISSUES. YOU /EVERY ONE OF US ARE BORN IN THIS WORLD TO ACHIEVE SOME THING AND ONCE THIS RECOGNITION COMES IN ,WAY OF LIVING AND WAY OF SEEING THE LIFE itself will undergo a change.

Life is short, journey is long, opportunities are plenty, responsibiliies are more: the making or marring of a relationship is not in other's hands but in one's own hands.Cheer up and face the world, the world will reciprocate in equal if not in more measure. YOU DID NOT HAVE A CHOICE ON TWO OF THE IMPORTANT EVENTS IN LIFE, BIRTH AND EATH AND WHY WORRY ON LOSS OF A CHOICE OF A RELATIONSHIP!!IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE GIFTED WITH A BETTER RELATIONSHIP IN DAYS TO COME.......
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