TO THE STONGER SEX(OFCOURSE TO WEAKER SEX TOO)

LOVE, SOME SAY IS BLIND.Some claim it to be divine.Some others discount it as chemistry of harmones.This issue is as complex as complexity of people itself.

But one thing is common amongst all those comments.These comments are from those who have tasted love(failure or success)and those who have heard others' experience of love and chose to pass comments on the same.

As a person who had been through love,and in love,even on date (as there are diifrent levels on which love can operate and not necessarily between a womam and man alone as is normally constured by majority ) and as a person who had seen others going thru the pros and cons of love, i thoght i should blog on this subject, especially in the context of incereasing cases of broken hearts leading to abnormal behaviours , on the part of those who feel that they have been rejected by their mates.

Though i would not like to make it gender specific, for fear of being dubbed as gender biased, still i would like to make the statement that in the present day world, it is the so called stronger sex , who are found to be prone to the risks arising out of pain of a broken love than the weaker sex.MAY BE I AM WRONG AND MAY BE I HAVE BEEN CLOSER ONLY TO CAES INVOLVING THE STRONGER SEX.That is however besides the point.The basic point is why do we react the way in which we react.Do we have any other rational behavoiur which we can exhibit?/

As i have been often repeating in these columns , love can make or break.This statement need not be construed as a justification by those who chose to take extreme measures, on the pretext of overcoming the pain.I would like to recall the movie"Varanam ayiram" which came very close to exhibiting the pains of a broken heart(not broken love!) in the recent past.The plus point of the movie was that it went beyond the pains of the person in broken relationship or lost relationship.It focussed on those who are near and dear to the person who were experiencing pains themselves too , may not be of the same degree but more or less on equal degrees on seeing the plight of the peson whom they love and whom they look for ward to as their future hope.

I have analysed the reasons for the behaviour exhibited by various persons in the last 25 years of my life(i.e since i attained adult hood or rather a balanced mind)and more particularly in the last 3-4 year , for it is in the recent past that this number appear to swell.I can tabulate them as under:

1.Total trust and faith in the other gender (i.e Control of mind by the heart with the result there is lack of rationale approach).Of course, i do agree that love is blind, but that is applicable to physical traits (beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder) and need not extend to loss of rationale/logic witnessed in very many cases.
2.Failure to accept that other persons(in one to one relation) may have their own limitations and reasons for a decision (including the decision to choose or reject)and failure to appreciate that the other person has as much freedom as one's own self to do that.(Here again i am not contemplating or justifying that the other person can at his/her free will and choice can enter or leave a realtionship at the drop of a hat).
3.The belief that the world is lost , simply because one person had chosen to end a relationship.
4.The false notion that the person is rejected whereas what is rejected is the kind of relationship that is all along contemplated. It is possible that a relationship may still continue as good friends or well wishers to each other.
5.The sudden distancing of one self from the rest of friends and the family(when one is in serious affair) with the result the near and dear are first perplexed by the distancing factor and later at the erratic behaviour when the affair turns sour.VERYOFTEN THAN NOT THIS DISTANCING FACTOR ITSELF ACTS AN IMPEDIMENT IN RUSHING TO THE NEEDY INDIVIDUAL TO GIVE THE REQUIRED SOLACE AND COMFORT.
6.Sudden lack of confidence in ones own image, abilities, potential and what not arising as result of the break in realtionship.If only we could remember that life is a journey and all those who come across are passengers in the journey, it would be easy to appreciate that not only the journey shall come to an end and that the passengers need not necessarily travel till the destination/

The journey is more important than the goal in itself as my son used to say.LET US REMEMBER THAT THE WORLD HAS MORE THINGS TO OFFER.WHEN ONE WINDOW IS CLOSED ANOTHER DOOR IS opened and we fail to realise the same in our agony of pains. AN OPPORTUNITY IS LOST PERMANANTLY.

THE LIFE IS TOO PRECIOUS TO SPEND WORRYING ON SUCH ISSUES. YOU /EVERY ONE OF US ARE BORN IN THIS WORLD TO ACHIEVE SOME THING AND ONCE THIS RECOGNITION COMES IN ,WAY OF LIVING AND WAY OF SEEING THE LIFE itself will undergo a change.

Life is short, journey is long, opportunities are plenty, responsibiliies are more: the making or marring of a relationship is not in other's hands but in one's own hands.Cheer up and face the world, the world will reciprocate in equal if not in more measure. YOU DID NOT HAVE A CHOICE ON TWO OF THE IMPORTANT EVENTS IN LIFE, BIRTH AND EATH AND WHY WORRY ON LOSS OF A CHOICE OF A RELATIONSHIP!!IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE GIFTED WITH A BETTER RELATIONSHIP IN DAYS TO COME.......
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