I do not know how to name it ..i mean the day of retirement.Whther it is proper to coin it as D day? My son will offer his comments for sure on that !!
Any way that is the topic for this post.Viz -31/10/2011, day of my retirement:)
About 150 mails each in my Office email id and in my personal email id, to the extent of the server warning me on quota being exceeded had come in my inbox. The messages contained, emotions of various degrees, respects, regards, love, affection, friendship ,suggestions, anxities and tears too.
The OFFICE phone including hot lines did over time with well wishers calling from far off places like Seoul, Singapore, and Hongkong, while the residential phone took the load since early morning with one of my well wishers and a former GM calling exactly at 6 am with good wishes for my retired life.I lost count of the calls , but i registered in my mind that there are not one, but many well wishers all over the globe , and the satisfaction derived is immense.The day ended with the last call from another former GM from Ernakulam and the beauty is that the first caller and the last caller were those who were responsible for my induction into my personal effectiveness programmes at STAFF COLLEGE, cHENNAI which enabled me to have new insights into my own self.
There was a fare well party at pent house and i was really surprised at the compliments showered on me right from CMD to EDs to GMs.It is certainly a routine to speak good words about retirees on this day and hence the retiree should discount atleast some of these if not all.But when speaker after speaker traces the contributions made by an individual for a decade to the organisation and when one is able to really sence that those words are coming from heart and not from lips, yes, you are moved beyond description.
CMD was straight forward to invite to be in touch and even told GM personnel about the areas that may require my services in future too Viz Faculty, credit audit, specail assignments etc to mention afew.I am not sure at this moment as to whether any of these will fructify or will be evaporating into thin air. But then there was a special feel about the whole thing and when i was asked to speak on the occasion i made it clear that i am a free bird and will be available if the institution require my services at any time as my present existence, status and the friend circle are all gifts of this great institution/
There are quite a few General Managers present, with whom i have been directly associated with ,during my service at Kolkatta, Staff college Chennai,overseas branch at Hongkong and in central office.All of them have been extremely kind to me and tolerated me despite my strightforwardness!! and i made it a point to acknowledge the same.I also drew reference to the select audience present who in their own individual styles are capable of producing a very strong bank provided there is a clear and concise direction from top.
What followed was an internal send off at the Deaprtment level and here despite my conscious efforts not to become emotional, the speech from some of my collegues alamost made me emotional,but i certainly did not loose control.There were collegues who described me as a role model, those who considered me as one among them, those calling me a Guru, those who wondered as to what is in store for them the next day in my absence,those(Including the GM OF THE DEPARTMENT) who considered me as harsh and rough(at times ) but all of them were ready to agree that THEY UNDERSTOOD THE REASONS BEHIND the same.That is enough for me.When it became my turn i informed that if i had been harsh i am not going ask for any excuse for the same .Rather i was consciusly harsh with some at some times to drive home certain points, which otherwise would have been brushed aside. With some i was harsh to bring a change in them for the better in their own interests and in the broader interest of the department/institution.
Conceding that all most every one in the department have been brought in to the department ,with my efforts in one way or other,it became an additional responsibility for me to ensure that they rise to the levelof expectations.At the end of it all it was an whole some feeling , having done proud to my earlier colegues who gave the reins to me a decade back.
The fact that one of the auditor friends made it a point to keep company to me at lunch,and another auditor friend made it a point to vist my home and wish me and my wife better days ahead are facts which will certianly do a lot of good.My former collegue Reddy made it a point to take half a day leave to be present along with me till i reached home and no words can describe the comfort level that such acts created for me. Score of office friends, despite my suggesting atht they need not strain themselves made it a point to accompany me up to the residence and spend atleast an hour or so with me.THE FEELING OF BEING WANTED, BEING CARED FOR came out of all thse acts and no words would be enough to thank all thse friends and collegues.
Instead of thanking them i will pray the almighty to bestow them with ease of work with out tension(which i have been going thru for the past decade, a possible reason for my diabetic too)great mental and physical health, prosperity in their walks of life and recognition/promotion when they are due.
A fitting end to a long innings of 32 yers and seven months with this institution.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Retirement and after math
I will soon be superannuating on 31/10/2011 as i have crossed 60 years of age,the precribed limit for service in public sector banks.
In the process i had put in 32 years and seven months service with my bank of which almost 10 years of service was put in the present department Viz, Balance sheet and management department (formerly known as Accounts department) while the rest of the career spanned over various places, Viz as a member of faculty in staff college for almost seven years and a stint in overseas lasting almost 5 years .Thus almost 22 years of service had been accounted in these 3 places while DElhi, Chennai and Kolkatta accounted for the balance period of my service.
People have started asking me various questions at this stage . I will list them herein and try to provide answers as honestly as i could, as there are few questions for which i my self is in search of an answer.
Qn 1.Which is the best period of your service, which is the most challenging one and which is the most satisfying one?
The answers respectively are the service put in at overseas, the service in my present department and the service in staff college respectively.
Qn 2. What is it you gained and what is it that you lost in your career?
I gained the good will of thousands of customers and collegues and the relationship developed with them all thru these years is the biggest reward that one can get.What i lost is more of material in nature, as persons with similar standing in the industry and with same type of experience had moved up to even posts of ED/CMD, while i had to be contended with that of an elevation to the Deputy General Manager cadre.
Qn 3. If you were asked to mention the single lesson that you learnt over 32 years , what is it?
No one is perfect and no body can calim to be perfect as the knowldge what we possess in comparison to what is supposed to be possessed is insignificant."KATRATHU KAI MAN ALAVU, KALLATHATHU ULAGALAVU"
Qn 4. Whom would you like to thank for this successful innings of yours?
There are many.I would like to thank first and foremost, the most important person vIZ my wife who tolerated me for my late comings, indifferent timings and the change in moods arising out of office atmosphere all of which were directed only aginst her.And ofcourse my children, my son and daughter who for their age
showed such a maturity and understanding and never encroached on my time or resources which were always wanting.
Next comes my team of members at my present department who instantly struck a chord of affection and understanding with me with the result it became a team work and a team as you know is capable of producing wonders to the surpise of many around.
Next in line is my superiors all of whom had absolute confidence in me with the result i could not only assume responsibility but also freedom which should necessarily go along with responsibility, to produce the desired results.
5. How do i feel at this moment with hardly 2 days to go for super annuation?
I frankly do not feel any thing. may be i was rehearsing for this day for quite some time that i have balnced within with no emotional outbirsts.
6.What are the future plans...
This is the question for which i do not have an answer at this moment.Not that i do not have any offers.Quite a few of them from known and unknown quarters have poured in . But i am hesitant as i really do not know what i am looking for.
Certainly i am not looking any more for a bonded labour.Nor am i expecting me to become overnight a consultant with money pouring in day in and day out.A place where there will be respect for my age and experience, a place where there will be transparency and understanding, a place where i will be treated as an equal is what i am looking for, Perhaps it may take some time . But i believe that the waiting time is worth it.Till some thing crystallyse i will go back to my most favourite pass times, Viz pilgrimage and books.
People normally pay encomiums, whether one deserves it or not at the time of retirement. I am sure i will also be flooded with such praise.MAY BE I DESERVE SOME OF THEM MAY BE I DO NOT DESERVE ANY OF THEM.
But the statements made by two of my collegues , quoted below, gave me a sence of satisfaction to the effect that after all, my 32 years of service had not gone astray.
Quote
Sir,
I have not worked with you but i have been observing you from a distance, all the same.I have found in you a personality , who is not biased , who do not hesistate to point out the follies, but still command respect and admiration and above all the affectiopn of all around.
Unquote.
Quote
Sir,
I just can not think of the department with out you. I have been working with you for the past 10 years and i have found in you a figure to whom i can confide, challenge, seek guidance, admit mistakes committed and also expect that you will do every thing possible to protect our interests at the time when it is most needed in front of persons who are to decide our future career"
Un quote
I AM OVERWHELMED WITH THE LOVE AND AFFECTION SHOWN BY THE PEOPLE, one who had never worked with me and the other who always had worked with me.I shall continue to pray for the welfare of all those who worked with me like bulls, putting behind all their self interests for a common cause, the upliftment of the institution and i also pray for the growth of the institution as the career graph of all are twined with the same.
I sign off....
In the process i had put in 32 years and seven months service with my bank of which almost 10 years of service was put in the present department Viz, Balance sheet and management department (formerly known as Accounts department) while the rest of the career spanned over various places, Viz as a member of faculty in staff college for almost seven years and a stint in overseas lasting almost 5 years .Thus almost 22 years of service had been accounted in these 3 places while DElhi, Chennai and Kolkatta accounted for the balance period of my service.
People have started asking me various questions at this stage . I will list them herein and try to provide answers as honestly as i could, as there are few questions for which i my self is in search of an answer.
Qn 1.Which is the best period of your service, which is the most challenging one and which is the most satisfying one?
The answers respectively are the service put in at overseas, the service in my present department and the service in staff college respectively.
Qn 2. What is it you gained and what is it that you lost in your career?
I gained the good will of thousands of customers and collegues and the relationship developed with them all thru these years is the biggest reward that one can get.What i lost is more of material in nature, as persons with similar standing in the industry and with same type of experience had moved up to even posts of ED/CMD, while i had to be contended with that of an elevation to the Deputy General Manager cadre.
Qn 3. If you were asked to mention the single lesson that you learnt over 32 years , what is it?
No one is perfect and no body can calim to be perfect as the knowldge what we possess in comparison to what is supposed to be possessed is insignificant."KATRATHU KAI MAN ALAVU, KALLATHATHU ULAGALAVU"
Qn 4. Whom would you like to thank for this successful innings of yours?
There are many.I would like to thank first and foremost, the most important person vIZ my wife who tolerated me for my late comings, indifferent timings and the change in moods arising out of office atmosphere all of which were directed only aginst her.And ofcourse my children, my son and daughter who for their age
showed such a maturity and understanding and never encroached on my time or resources which were always wanting.
Next comes my team of members at my present department who instantly struck a chord of affection and understanding with me with the result it became a team work and a team as you know is capable of producing wonders to the surpise of many around.
Next in line is my superiors all of whom had absolute confidence in me with the result i could not only assume responsibility but also freedom which should necessarily go along with responsibility, to produce the desired results.
5. How do i feel at this moment with hardly 2 days to go for super annuation?
I frankly do not feel any thing. may be i was rehearsing for this day for quite some time that i have balnced within with no emotional outbirsts.
6.What are the future plans...
This is the question for which i do not have an answer at this moment.Not that i do not have any offers.Quite a few of them from known and unknown quarters have poured in . But i am hesitant as i really do not know what i am looking for.
Certainly i am not looking any more for a bonded labour.Nor am i expecting me to become overnight a consultant with money pouring in day in and day out.A place where there will be respect for my age and experience, a place where there will be transparency and understanding, a place where i will be treated as an equal is what i am looking for, Perhaps it may take some time . But i believe that the waiting time is worth it.Till some thing crystallyse i will go back to my most favourite pass times, Viz pilgrimage and books.
People normally pay encomiums, whether one deserves it or not at the time of retirement. I am sure i will also be flooded with such praise.MAY BE I DESERVE SOME OF THEM MAY BE I DO NOT DESERVE ANY OF THEM.
But the statements made by two of my collegues , quoted below, gave me a sence of satisfaction to the effect that after all, my 32 years of service had not gone astray.
Quote
Sir,
I have not worked with you but i have been observing you from a distance, all the same.I have found in you a personality , who is not biased , who do not hesistate to point out the follies, but still command respect and admiration and above all the affectiopn of all around.
Unquote.
Quote
Sir,
I just can not think of the department with out you. I have been working with you for the past 10 years and i have found in you a figure to whom i can confide, challenge, seek guidance, admit mistakes committed and also expect that you will do every thing possible to protect our interests at the time when it is most needed in front of persons who are to decide our future career"
Un quote
I AM OVERWHELMED WITH THE LOVE AND AFFECTION SHOWN BY THE PEOPLE, one who had never worked with me and the other who always had worked with me.I shall continue to pray for the welfare of all those who worked with me like bulls, putting behind all their self interests for a common cause, the upliftment of the institution and i also pray for the growth of the institution as the career graph of all are twined with the same.
I sign off....
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
HAPPY DEEPAVALI
Deepavali is considered to be the festival of lights.It is supposed to signify the success of good over evil and the removal of ignorance with rays of knowledge.
By this time any reader of my blog would have been aware atht the purpose of my blog is to enjoy the 'iGNORANCE" perse, as i have often experienced that every knowledge aquired disturb you atleast for some time before you get to acclimatise to it.
Hence what ever the reason Deepavali is celebrated is secondry, ut the fact that the celebration bring in new joys and energies within one can not be overlooked. Perhaps that is the message of Deepavali. Revel in colours, new things (be it clothes, eatables , or belongings ).And more importantly remember the not so blesed ones so that you can extend a helping hand to one in need.
I precisely did that fore the past 3 days. IDENTIFY ANY ONE WHO CAME IN CONTACT WITH ME IN SOME CAPACITY, be it sweepers, cleaners, drivers, mess boys,tea server, post man or messengers. I carried a bundle of fresh notes and went on a giving spree till the same was exhausted.And the satisfaction that you derive is immense.It is perhaps the capacity of the "haves" to take care of the "have nots " is the essence of such festivals,Even Ramzan talks of the same tone and so also the festivals of Christians when any one who come to Church will be teated with food.
Today, except for raising from bed at will (unlike the earlier years when i used to get up at 3 AM along with my wife, to get ready by 4 am to wear new clothes and to burst crackers, based on a perception that Naragasura was killed by Lord Krishna in the vee hours of the day and hence the right time will be between 3am-4am to have an oil bath and to waer new clothes)all other routine remained unchanged.
The fact thAt neither my son nor my daughter were present added to the quietness. Ofcourse my son whether present or not may not be an active participant in the proceedings as right from child hood he is one who believed that we should not go for bursting crackers for two convincing reasons, One to avoid the child labour in Sivakasi and the other to reduce the air pollution.On the contrary my daughter belongs to other end of spectrum who revels with every thing that is new and novel, But then she has to be with her in laws for thalai deepavali and hence away.
That all works connected with half yearly closing were also meticulaously planned and brought to some finality yesterday itself meant that there is no work at office too. And perhaps by the time this post is coming on, the approval of the notes form top executives also would have been obtained.
Thus it was a smooth flow of tide and time.And my joy (in the absence of my son and daughter) emanated from another reason, the climate.What started as drops yesterday evening became heavier with strong chill winds and copious rains.There were intermittent periods when the sun really shone bright enabled me to perfrom the amavasya rites to the departed elders to my full satisfaction.
A good food (added flavour to by my wife's affection as i was the sole recipient in the absence of her beloved children), some nice movies in various channels, a climate of my choice, making the day look like a night with steady stream of rains(our porticio is already filled with water and a few more hours of rains may make it further worse), absence of power cuts, the small talks had with children in the morning which assured that every thing is fine , the greetings and the telephone calls recieved on the eve of deepavali(some expected while some others least anticipated) have all made this deepavali, an enjoyable one...But not a memorable one. . My wife may chide me for my love of rains.But with out rains there will be no life as especially Chennai and superbs are lready drained off all water in lakes and rivers and hence rains are a must for survival, despite the inconveniences that it cause to many..
It will become memorable when we are to gther talking and sharing on all things in the world with spontaneity and transparency.And we means, self, wife, son and daughter.!!Perhaps another year or two..waiting will,have to be there but when that union take place on the eve of deepavali, it will be an unforgettrable and memorable of all !
But there can always be wishes to others to bless tehm with a memorable deepavali.
HERE IS A GREETING FROM THE DEPTH OF HEARTS TO ALL..HAPPY AND MEMORABLE DEEPAVALI>
By this time any reader of my blog would have been aware atht the purpose of my blog is to enjoy the 'iGNORANCE" perse, as i have often experienced that every knowledge aquired disturb you atleast for some time before you get to acclimatise to it.
Hence what ever the reason Deepavali is celebrated is secondry, ut the fact that the celebration bring in new joys and energies within one can not be overlooked. Perhaps that is the message of Deepavali. Revel in colours, new things (be it clothes, eatables , or belongings ).And more importantly remember the not so blesed ones so that you can extend a helping hand to one in need.
I precisely did that fore the past 3 days. IDENTIFY ANY ONE WHO CAME IN CONTACT WITH ME IN SOME CAPACITY, be it sweepers, cleaners, drivers, mess boys,tea server, post man or messengers. I carried a bundle of fresh notes and went on a giving spree till the same was exhausted.And the satisfaction that you derive is immense.It is perhaps the capacity of the "haves" to take care of the "have nots " is the essence of such festivals,Even Ramzan talks of the same tone and so also the festivals of Christians when any one who come to Church will be teated with food.
Today, except for raising from bed at will (unlike the earlier years when i used to get up at 3 AM along with my wife, to get ready by 4 am to wear new clothes and to burst crackers, based on a perception that Naragasura was killed by Lord Krishna in the vee hours of the day and hence the right time will be between 3am-4am to have an oil bath and to waer new clothes)all other routine remained unchanged.
The fact thAt neither my son nor my daughter were present added to the quietness. Ofcourse my son whether present or not may not be an active participant in the proceedings as right from child hood he is one who believed that we should not go for bursting crackers for two convincing reasons, One to avoid the child labour in Sivakasi and the other to reduce the air pollution.On the contrary my daughter belongs to other end of spectrum who revels with every thing that is new and novel, But then she has to be with her in laws for thalai deepavali and hence away.
That all works connected with half yearly closing were also meticulaously planned and brought to some finality yesterday itself meant that there is no work at office too. And perhaps by the time this post is coming on, the approval of the notes form top executives also would have been obtained.
Thus it was a smooth flow of tide and time.And my joy (in the absence of my son and daughter) emanated from another reason, the climate.What started as drops yesterday evening became heavier with strong chill winds and copious rains.There were intermittent periods when the sun really shone bright enabled me to perfrom the amavasya rites to the departed elders to my full satisfaction.
A good food (added flavour to by my wife's affection as i was the sole recipient in the absence of her beloved children), some nice movies in various channels, a climate of my choice, making the day look like a night with steady stream of rains(our porticio is already filled with water and a few more hours of rains may make it further worse), absence of power cuts, the small talks had with children in the morning which assured that every thing is fine , the greetings and the telephone calls recieved on the eve of deepavali(some expected while some others least anticipated) have all made this deepavali, an enjoyable one...But not a memorable one. . My wife may chide me for my love of rains.But with out rains there will be no life as especially Chennai and superbs are lready drained off all water in lakes and rivers and hence rains are a must for survival, despite the inconveniences that it cause to many..
It will become memorable when we are to gther talking and sharing on all things in the world with spontaneity and transparency.And we means, self, wife, son and daughter.!!Perhaps another year or two..waiting will,have to be there but when that union take place on the eve of deepavali, it will be an unforgettrable and memorable of all !
But there can always be wishes to others to bless tehm with a memorable deepavali.
HERE IS A GREETING FROM THE DEPTH OF HEARTS TO ALL..HAPPY AND MEMORABLE DEEPAVALI>
Sunday, October 9, 2011
61st Birth day. A directory of events
Some days are worth rememebering for life time while some are not.
The sixty first birth day(as per birth star )which fell today belonged to the former category.
It started well . I consider the day as having started well if i need not have to remind my driver to be present atleast 2-3 times before he actually whispers a feeble "yes" !!.Today he presented himself even when i was contemplating to give him a call .That is indeed a healthy start to a day ..is it not!
The next best thing to happen was my wife becoming ready at the scheduled time before i started loosing my patience in waiting for her!! You may be wondering as to what happened to this guy to loose his patience on such silly grounds when he had put up with her for the last 31 years.Better you ask my son who is known for his punctuality and the inner urge to be a role model in so far as keeping the schedule/dead lines are concerned.
All is well which ends well they say. It is also often quoted that a task well begun is half done.To day happened to prove both points .
Having got up early at 6 am (ON sundays i am particular in following Ravana;s younger brother Kumbakarna in line and spirit)and hence getting up at 6am itself is an occasion to be rewarded. I was rewarded with some very good tiffin (all tiffin items turn out to be excellent or atleast good if you are breaking your fast, after a Purattasi SAturday day long fasting>>hehe no offence meant.The tiffin was really good and consisted of "paramabaria" items , like IDDLY, VADA, PONGAL accompanied by Milagai podi, Chutney and steaming sambar.It is not a sort of Jugal pandhi as is being witnessed nowadays in marriage functions when they keep u serving dozen tiffin items that your appetite is vanquished the moment you see those items!.
And the venue happens to be near Medavakkam where we went to attend the marriage of one of my son's frind's marriage as per his wish..Since she happens to be daughter of one of my bank collegues it is a pleasant surprise for her father to meet me there (with out invitation from his side>>hehe . To make things short and sweet after one of the sumptuous break fast followed by some good coffee, we went to the bride to introduce ourselves as 'SRINI'S parents and the whole kalayana manadapam brightened multi fold by the 1000 watt gleam that flowed from her eyes on recognition of the word Srini.It told volumes of what a good friendship is which can transcend miles and genders.
We then moved to the next important fete of the day,To be present in time at the temple at NANGANALLAUR for kalayana urchavam of Lord RAMA with SEETHA which we have arranged for, to coincide with my shastiapthapoorthy.What better way is there to celebrate it than to celebrate it along with the wedding of God and Godess themselves.The relatives present were far and few as in fact no body has been SPECIFICALLY invited. And as such there were no friends too , for inviting one and missing out on the other will be the last mistake that i would like to commit on this day.
But the small number of those present were full of love and affection making good for the absence of others too.It started with a greeting from my sister's family
in chaste TAmil over cell phone from Bhopal.It was preceded earlier with a phone call and a greeting from my manni/uncle's daughter from USA and another one from my maternal cousin at California.They just proved that distance need not be a limiting factor in conveying one's love and affection. And as it always happens my son's blog
indicated the strong bond of realtionship that we mutually carry and our admiration for each other , SPECIAL THANKS TO ALMIGHTY for such an wonderful and understanding father-son relationship and further prayers to keep it going for ever.
And at the temple the moment we entered my cousin who is in his eighties ( due for celebrating his own sadahbishegam next June )greeted us with a welcome smile and took over from that point of time in guiding us thru the rest of the events to follow.And what followed was a treat to watch and cherish for life time to come. The perfection with which the priests carried out the Kalyana Urchavam, the manner in which the holy mantras were recited, the little pains taken here and then to tell the Bhaktas as to the meaning of the same, and then the whole lot of little things which makes the Hindu Brhmin marriage an eventful experience..such as Oonjal,Malai matral, Pidi sutral, thengai uruttal, and Mangalya tharana.And slowly during the proceedings all my relatives Viz my eldest sister , my sisterin law, my elder sister and her husband,my eldest brother's wife and her son have all assemebled.To make up for the absence of my son who is in Hongkong, my daughter arrived in time with her husband to give me the most needed mental strength.Then the archana to the Seetha Rama commenced as a prelude to MANGALYADARANAM..Along with archana to deiety the undersigned was guided to perfrom the flowery tribute to the Mangalyam which my wife carried from home.It is a practice and custom to have one more mangalyam along with the existing one , during Shastiapthapoorthy. And to the accompaniment of NAYANAM, THAVIL and in COMPANY TO GOD/GODDESS i peformed managalya tharanam to my wife, second time in 31 years.AS my cobrother's daughter was to remark in a lightersence later , the same man, the same woman getting married for the second time in 31 years..and what a diffrence it made to the earlier marriage.No egos, No quarrels, no tensions, no misunderstanding but a thickening bond of love, affection and an effort to be the first to say sorry, i love you etc. The present generation will be able to appreciate the essence of these when they travel down the lane.Life is beautiful indeed!!
WAHT FOLLOWED WAS A good lunch at the sanctum sanctorum, consisiting of Brinjal, ladies finger paruppu sambar, Ladiesfinger more kuzhambu, Brijal poriyal, BANGALORE kathrikkai KOOTTU, pARUPPU VADAI, Rasam (which surprisingly looked like Kuzhambu, tastewise as also appearance wise)Payasam (Reminding me of my son, father, and may father in law who all would have enjoyed it more)and buttermilk.About 300 persons including KALYANA GHOSTI and other devottes would have taken the food.It was a rewarding experience in all.
there were gifts , normal for such occasions..Dhothi and saree with shirts and Jacket bits. Earlier in the day my wife and my sister cum motherin law presented me with a locket (of Lord Srinivasa, a cute one at that to be worn with my chain which i am wearing for the last two decades)and later when the proceedings are to come to an end,my daughter and son in law surprised us with a gift (which they picked up after spending the entire evening in search of one the previous day by getting in and out of half a dozen shops in T,NAGAR, Ranganathan Street and Usman Road..HATS OFF TO THEIR PATIENCE AND TEANCITY ).It was a beautiful peace of Lord Srinivasa made of stones , embedded in a box with mirrors on all sides which comes to sparlkle amidst lights of different colours, Green Red and wHITE at the touch of a button(Blue is missing ofcourse ..not an intent dear) accompanied by dozen tunes of slogas including half a dozen on Lord Venkateswara.
My son in law is known for his eye for beauty and perfection . His choice of my daughter as his life companion and the way in which he celebrated her last birth day on 3rd October would prove that point beyond doubt.(he took 2 hours to decorate one of the bed rooms with flowers, baloons, little dolls and what not , sweating from head to toes to make it a pleasant surpise to my daughter when she is invited into the room to cut her birthday cake..Me and my son, possibly could not even dream of venturing anywhere near such grand preparation..FRIEND SON, I AM INCLUDING YOU or would you be different when u pick up yr right candidate!!
And when he is accompanied by my loving daughter the gift they choose, becomes remarkable and an unforgettable one indeed.
My co brother in his inimitable style came earlier on dot at the time of mangalyadharanam , to present me with a cash cover and drifted apart immediately.His way of saying and showing his love and affection to us.then followed a long distance call from my nephew and his wife in Dubai and another long distance call from my sister and borother in law at Bhopal.It was a lengthy conversation which enabled us to understand each other;s feelings .At the end of it all the realisation that we always carry all the good wishes and blessings of elders and youngsters alike makes it an whole some experience.
I would have been glad to have it celebrated in the presence of all my cousin brothers and sisters who when they come to know of the event, rightly are going to pick up a wordy duel with me.In particular i would have loved to have my cousin from Chrompet.Similarly all my friends and collegues, had they known about the function would have come in large numbers to greet.It was not to be for reasons steted in my earlier post. I crave for their undertanding and am sure they will understand and appreciate.
As i conclude i am reminded of the tele tlak that i had with my siter in Bhopal, when i tild her that i am having an inner feeling that some thing more precious and something more of a grand function awaits us all to meet and celebrate and that it may happen sooner than later.I said it with out effort as if i was possessed.And now my inner conscience says that there is going to be another ocasion of grandeur and splendour, when it will be the time for all of us to meet and rejoice and make good for all the moments so far allowed to by pass.
For every grand thing thre must be a Thrusti pariharam. The pwer cuts which were far and few had already visited thrice in the span of last 40 minutes which it took me to create this post. Oh, that is nice.Now the thrusti is gone, poye pocchu, chalegachi.
Loving wishes to one and all
The sixty first birth day(as per birth star )which fell today belonged to the former category.
It started well . I consider the day as having started well if i need not have to remind my driver to be present atleast 2-3 times before he actually whispers a feeble "yes" !!.Today he presented himself even when i was contemplating to give him a call .That is indeed a healthy start to a day ..is it not!
The next best thing to happen was my wife becoming ready at the scheduled time before i started loosing my patience in waiting for her!! You may be wondering as to what happened to this guy to loose his patience on such silly grounds when he had put up with her for the last 31 years.Better you ask my son who is known for his punctuality and the inner urge to be a role model in so far as keeping the schedule/dead lines are concerned.
All is well which ends well they say. It is also often quoted that a task well begun is half done.To day happened to prove both points .
Having got up early at 6 am (ON sundays i am particular in following Ravana;s younger brother Kumbakarna in line and spirit)and hence getting up at 6am itself is an occasion to be rewarded. I was rewarded with some very good tiffin (all tiffin items turn out to be excellent or atleast good if you are breaking your fast, after a Purattasi SAturday day long fasting>>hehe no offence meant.The tiffin was really good and consisted of "paramabaria" items , like IDDLY, VADA, PONGAL accompanied by Milagai podi, Chutney and steaming sambar.It is not a sort of Jugal pandhi as is being witnessed nowadays in marriage functions when they keep u serving dozen tiffin items that your appetite is vanquished the moment you see those items!.
And the venue happens to be near Medavakkam where we went to attend the marriage of one of my son's frind's marriage as per his wish..Since she happens to be daughter of one of my bank collegues it is a pleasant surprise for her father to meet me there (with out invitation from his side>>hehe . To make things short and sweet after one of the sumptuous break fast followed by some good coffee, we went to the bride to introduce ourselves as 'SRINI'S parents and the whole kalayana manadapam brightened multi fold by the 1000 watt gleam that flowed from her eyes on recognition of the word Srini.It told volumes of what a good friendship is which can transcend miles and genders.
We then moved to the next important fete of the day,To be present in time at the temple at NANGANALLAUR for kalayana urchavam of Lord RAMA with SEETHA which we have arranged for, to coincide with my shastiapthapoorthy.What better way is there to celebrate it than to celebrate it along with the wedding of God and Godess themselves.The relatives present were far and few as in fact no body has been SPECIFICALLY invited. And as such there were no friends too , for inviting one and missing out on the other will be the last mistake that i would like to commit on this day.
But the small number of those present were full of love and affection making good for the absence of others too.It started with a greeting from my sister's family
in chaste TAmil over cell phone from Bhopal.It was preceded earlier with a phone call and a greeting from my manni/uncle's daughter from USA and another one from my maternal cousin at California.They just proved that distance need not be a limiting factor in conveying one's love and affection. And as it always happens my son's blog
indicated the strong bond of realtionship that we mutually carry and our admiration for each other , SPECIAL THANKS TO ALMIGHTY for such an wonderful and understanding father-son relationship and further prayers to keep it going for ever.
And at the temple the moment we entered my cousin who is in his eighties ( due for celebrating his own sadahbishegam next June )greeted us with a welcome smile and took over from that point of time in guiding us thru the rest of the events to follow.And what followed was a treat to watch and cherish for life time to come. The perfection with which the priests carried out the Kalyana Urchavam, the manner in which the holy mantras were recited, the little pains taken here and then to tell the Bhaktas as to the meaning of the same, and then the whole lot of little things which makes the Hindu Brhmin marriage an eventful experience..such as Oonjal,Malai matral, Pidi sutral, thengai uruttal, and Mangalya tharana.And slowly during the proceedings all my relatives Viz my eldest sister , my sisterin law, my elder sister and her husband,my eldest brother's wife and her son have all assemebled.To make up for the absence of my son who is in Hongkong, my daughter arrived in time with her husband to give me the most needed mental strength.Then the archana to the Seetha Rama commenced as a prelude to MANGALYADARANAM..Along with archana to deiety the undersigned was guided to perfrom the flowery tribute to the Mangalyam which my wife carried from home.It is a practice and custom to have one more mangalyam along with the existing one , during Shastiapthapoorthy. And to the accompaniment of NAYANAM, THAVIL and in COMPANY TO GOD/GODDESS i peformed managalya tharanam to my wife, second time in 31 years.AS my cobrother's daughter was to remark in a lightersence later , the same man, the same woman getting married for the second time in 31 years..and what a diffrence it made to the earlier marriage.No egos, No quarrels, no tensions, no misunderstanding but a thickening bond of love, affection and an effort to be the first to say sorry, i love you etc. The present generation will be able to appreciate the essence of these when they travel down the lane.Life is beautiful indeed!!
WAHT FOLLOWED WAS A good lunch at the sanctum sanctorum, consisiting of Brinjal, ladies finger paruppu sambar, Ladiesfinger more kuzhambu, Brijal poriyal, BANGALORE kathrikkai KOOTTU, pARUPPU VADAI, Rasam (which surprisingly looked like Kuzhambu, tastewise as also appearance wise)Payasam (Reminding me of my son, father, and may father in law who all would have enjoyed it more)and buttermilk.About 300 persons including KALYANA GHOSTI and other devottes would have taken the food.It was a rewarding experience in all.
there were gifts , normal for such occasions..Dhothi and saree with shirts and Jacket bits. Earlier in the day my wife and my sister cum motherin law presented me with a locket (of Lord Srinivasa, a cute one at that to be worn with my chain which i am wearing for the last two decades)and later when the proceedings are to come to an end,my daughter and son in law surprised us with a gift (which they picked up after spending the entire evening in search of one the previous day by getting in and out of half a dozen shops in T,NAGAR, Ranganathan Street and Usman Road..HATS OFF TO THEIR PATIENCE AND TEANCITY ).It was a beautiful peace of Lord Srinivasa made of stones , embedded in a box with mirrors on all sides which comes to sparlkle amidst lights of different colours, Green Red and wHITE at the touch of a button(Blue is missing ofcourse ..not an intent dear) accompanied by dozen tunes of slogas including half a dozen on Lord Venkateswara.
My son in law is known for his eye for beauty and perfection . His choice of my daughter as his life companion and the way in which he celebrated her last birth day on 3rd October would prove that point beyond doubt.(he took 2 hours to decorate one of the bed rooms with flowers, baloons, little dolls and what not , sweating from head to toes to make it a pleasant surpise to my daughter when she is invited into the room to cut her birthday cake..Me and my son, possibly could not even dream of venturing anywhere near such grand preparation..FRIEND SON, I AM INCLUDING YOU or would you be different when u pick up yr right candidate!!
And when he is accompanied by my loving daughter the gift they choose, becomes remarkable and an unforgettable one indeed.
My co brother in his inimitable style came earlier on dot at the time of mangalyadharanam , to present me with a cash cover and drifted apart immediately.His way of saying and showing his love and affection to us.then followed a long distance call from my nephew and his wife in Dubai and another long distance call from my sister and borother in law at Bhopal.It was a lengthy conversation which enabled us to understand each other;s feelings .At the end of it all the realisation that we always carry all the good wishes and blessings of elders and youngsters alike makes it an whole some experience.
I would have been glad to have it celebrated in the presence of all my cousin brothers and sisters who when they come to know of the event, rightly are going to pick up a wordy duel with me.In particular i would have loved to have my cousin from Chrompet.Similarly all my friends and collegues, had they known about the function would have come in large numbers to greet.It was not to be for reasons steted in my earlier post. I crave for their undertanding and am sure they will understand and appreciate.
As i conclude i am reminded of the tele tlak that i had with my siter in Bhopal, when i tild her that i am having an inner feeling that some thing more precious and something more of a grand function awaits us all to meet and celebrate and that it may happen sooner than later.I said it with out effort as if i was possessed.And now my inner conscience says that there is going to be another ocasion of grandeur and splendour, when it will be the time for all of us to meet and rejoice and make good for all the moments so far allowed to by pass.
For every grand thing thre must be a Thrusti pariharam. The pwer cuts which were far and few had already visited thrice in the span of last 40 minutes which it took me to create this post. Oh, that is nice.Now the thrusti is gone, poye pocchu, chalegachi.
Loving wishes to one and all
Saturday, October 8, 2011
60
HI ALL
As i enter my 61st birth day as per birth star today ((8/10/11)(Yes Sadhaya NATCHATRAM has begun in late after noon on date and will last till 12.54 AM tomorrow(9/10/2011)i am reminded of the best gift that i got from my son , last year when i entered my 60 th year.it was a blog post, spontaneous and splendid , for its sequence of events and the description of details of my journey over the 59 years to 0ct ,11,2010.While i can not takecredit for many superlatives that have been used in the said blog, in reference to me (which could be understood by any reader as expression of love of a darling son to his beloved father) i would stioll commend the post as one of the most honest attempts to describe how a son has portrayed his father..ACTIONS, MOODS AND feelings.
I am reproducing the post by my son which apperared in his blog on oCt 11, last year for the benfit of readers of my blog, as possibly the post details even the details which i have forgotten my self.(at the end of this post)
And my birth date as per English Calendar falls on 11th of this month. As it normally happens in our customs, there had been enquiries all over time and again as to why i am not going for celebration of 'Shastiapthapoorthy".
There existed two reasons for the same earlier.
1) I really do not think that it calls for a celebration of sorts.2)And a celebration looses its meaning when your near and dear son is not around.
My daughter might pick up a quarrel with me as to why i should not celebrate when she is around.And the answer is that she is now queen of another house hold and as such her priorities , even if i wish, should not be allowed to change because of me.
The strongest possible reason , as it emerges now is that i have lost one of my very close and dear friend Venkatraman, (a batch mate of mine who retired in APRIL 2011) to the killer decease cancer, on the day of Saraswathi pooja.And few of my friends from the opposite gender are not around whose presence would have made a definite impact on the whole proceedings. In fact the series of mishaps which I encountered earlier(loss of my brother in the beginning of 2010 and that of my maternal son in late October 2010, and that of my nephew in June 2011) have completely wiped out the charm of such celebrations .
And hence the decision not to celebrate it on a big scale and instead confine it to a Kalyana Urchavam at Nanganallur Anjaneyar temple. And Lord Anjaneya happens to be my “ishta deivam.”A deity which stands for confidence, humbleness and self awareness. It will be a small gathering of my /my wife’s sisters and their families (except the one form Bhopal), my eldest cousin brother and his family and my dear daughter and her husband. I wanted to make it clear thru this column that by not inviting the rest, no offence is meant to anyone. Perhaps this time we were not destined to meet and rejoice for reasons stated above, but sooner than later there will be occasions to meet, when I am confident that we can make good the lost times.
I am sure my friends and well wishers who happen to read this blog will be able to appreciate the sentiments expressed herein and am sure that i can count on their wishes/blessings depending upon which side of the age group they belong to as i count the number of days to my superannuation.
As my son's post would depict it had been a long journey. Not a journey of bed of roses, but one full of challenges. The fact that my forefathers and teachers have taught me how to handle life when it becomes toughest and the guidance which I have always received from the Supreme Power above whenever it was most needed had kept me going all along and am sure that these will stand by me till the end.
And to fill in the gaps , i.e between the time when I turned 59 and sixty,here are the tidbits.
a) I finalized my last full year balance sheet for my bank as on 31/3/2011 and is already busy with the finalization of half yearly results.(My last responsibility to my beloved bank)for 30/9/2011.
b) I discharged one of my life’s most important responsibilities ..Getting my daughter married to the person whom she liked.There are moments which called for greater understanding, appreciation of each other;s perspective,anxiety and tension but always under control thanks to those around including my friend son, few relatives from wife's side and some of my office colleagues who helped in their own inimitable style to take it forward proving the proverb that ll is well that ends well.My sincere thanks to each one thru this blog.
c) I saw one of my dreams of my son going abroad coming true..The starting point for the long innings that he is destined to play as a research scholar abroad to win laurels..
d) I have seen that time and again life keeps its surprises in store for you, some of them pleasant and some of them spelling disaster and thereby making one understand that is the essence of life..Its unpredictability.
e) I have few questions to ponder..Most important being what next?
f) I am sure that as it always happened time will tell me the answer and in the words of one of my best friends TRC , “THE answer is already there but it is waiting for an opportune time to be made known to me”
I sign off with gratitude to one and all and with prayers to almighty as I enter my sixty first year recalling the following from Bhagwat Geetha.WHAT HAPPENED HAS HAPPENED WELL
WHAT IS HAPPENING IS HAPPENING WELL
AND WHAT IS TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN WELL TOO.
May the almighty enable me to enlighten my life as hither to.
*********************************************,
Reproduced is the text from my son’s blog ‘Myriad Joiurneys”
Monday, October 11, 2010Sampath at 59 # Timeline (for my father as he enters his 60th year):
Prefatory Note: They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Not that I have ever believed in it but I thought it was better to come up with a "reliving" kind of post for appa's birthday similar to the ones appa had written for me last month and after sister's birthday earlier this month. This act of imitation, however, is no flattery. They are a proud son's third person account of a great father's life!
1950s:
11 October 1951: A male child is born to Mr. Kodasvasal Srinivasa Raghavacharry (a name that has been the subject of much legacy and humour) Mrs. Vedavalli Srinivasa Raghavacharry. He is the last child in the family (but would by no stretch of imagination turn out to be the least); is more than a decade younger than the other son in the family; and 47 years younger than his dad. He is named Sampath Kumar.
After some joyful years of schooling in Vizhuppuram, commuting often by the nostalgic Austin car from the family’s village Asokapuri, with the company of green fields, Prathap uncle and chithappas and perippas making it an enviable experience (especially for a 1980’s lad like me!) he travels North to Madras to live with his eldest sister and brother-in-law. Two of his sisters are also there. But for a boy so young, moving away from his parents and the delectable languidness of village life is probably painful and gives him the first inklings of the fact that not everything in life comes out of freewill and choice.
[Aside: The pictures that appa paints about life in those two-roomed little “portions” in the T. Nagar of the 1950’s and 1960’s are amongst the most authentic accounts of personal history I have heard about Madras as it was immediately after independence.]
The 1960s
At the onset of the decade, he sees his eldest sister, under whose guardianship he is, give birth to their second daughter, Subhashini, who would become his wife two decades later almost to the date (more on that later). But the period is mainly characterised by a young boy’s will to tide over the inconveniences of dingy personal space and having to share it with too many people, the sometimes temperamental and oftentimes ‘jolly good throaty’ nature of his brother in law, the emotional battles triggered by being away from folks and rustic surroundings, and yet do something in life.
Family lore – particularly through the mouth of my maternal grandfather (who is also the aforementioned brother-in-law, a gregarious and generous man for all his mood swings) – has it that in studies the boy found both his calling as well as distraction. Sampath’s determination to take charge of his life was evidenced nowhere better than his readings under the streetlight after the entire house settles into rest and darkness.
[Aside: And when I think of some of the facilities, not to mention all the emotional support, love and the tag of being THE boy, I have had in my life, I wonder if I have achieved anything at all. That is not to compare myself with dad but to put his own efforts into proper context].
Later in the decade, the late hours with books bear fruit as he tops Ramakrishna High School (all branches) in English and Tamil (first signs of his linguistic excellence!) and the North Branch, if I am right, in Mathematics with his SSLC scores. He is grateful that he has had the best teachers (a fortunate that his son continues to share years later!) But there is no triumphalism for there seems to be no compelling reason to justify it. If anything, the high school topping experience proves two things: he can come out on top even under non-optimal conditions and can turn things passed onto him by force to transform himself – a leitmotif that pretty much tells the story of his life.
No sooner does he join Vivekananda College for a Bachelors Degree in Mathematics and pay the fees than he gets the money refunded through the government merit scholarship. For a boy from a decent but not overly strong financial background – who to keeps one part of the ten paisa pocket money he is given so that he can buy some groundnuts and walk back home rather than take a bus – the scholarship is a huge encouragement if not a shot in the arm.
The 1970s
He excels in among other subjects Astronomy and Calculus. But for a slip in the final semester, he would in fact have crossed the (what in those days was a magical) 90% bar. As things stand, he received a B.Sc., in Mathematics with a distinction (one of life’s little anticipatory ironies, I suppose, as his son would turn out to be a dud in that subject although born in the same month as Albert Einstein!!!) His literary taste gets kindled and he grows into quite a fierce debater as well (although amma would say he took the need for fierceness in debating a little too literally).
He feels that teaching is his calling and wants to do a post-grad in Mathematics en route to becoming a college lecturer. Once again life shows him an unanticipated path at the crossroads, the direction – rather the instruction – this time coming from his chithappa (uncle), an affluent bank manager and arguably the most influential of the five brothers in the family, who asks him to do CA. Sampath lands in Hyderabad – a place where his son would commence his journey towards becoming an academic several years later – at the place of a “romba dhoorathu sondham” (lit. very distant relative) probably knowing only that CA stood for Chartered Accountancy. (Little would he have known then that this design was yet again going to take him places). After a brief stint at his relative’s, he shifts to a small room near LB stadium. Studies, occasional movies, like-minded friends, Birla Mandhir (or the place where it stands now) and (the now old) MLA canteen become part of his life’s already rich tapestry. He shows a remarkable ability to adapt – and adapt quickly – to new places, something that would fast become a feature of his life although emotional quandaries lead him back to Madras overnight after two years.
Madras finds him doing his article-ship at R. G & Price and Co, a stint that entails much travel and one that would augment his unique appreciation of every place, its people, culture, food habits etc. On the academic side, after falling short in one subject despite achieving the overall aggregate – Managerial Economics I think – in the first attempt, he proves his credentials (and in equal measure his life’s inherent sense of humour) in the second attempt by scoring his highest marks in the subject he failed last time which is sufficient to get him an All-India Rank (below 30 if my maudlin memory serves me right).
[Aside: Now you know where my pronounced feeling of personal mortality comes from!!! Wink wink!]
In his late twenties, being the first Chartered Accountant in all of the extended family – and it probably feels like the world itself (but he is a man whose feet judiciously prefer to stand on solid ground rather than flirt with thin and flattering air) – may slightly tempt him to set up his own private practice. But bearing in mind his own nature, his family’s position, his penchant for steadiness over adventure and a number of other things – typical of his remarkable ability to summarise future trends in no time – he decides to get employed. HMT International (Bangalore) and Allahabad (Calcutta) wind up what is an eventful decade – one that has taken him from being a good student to a promising professional in his field.
The 1980s
Two irrevocable things happen during the first year of the decade: he gets appointed by the Indian Overseas Bank at Madras (and gets posted BACK to Calcutta in another of life’s teasing gestures!) and gets married to his eldest sister’s first daughter on May 12, 1980. The first three years and a part of the fourth get spent in Calcutta. Personal life is difficult with mom undergoing two miscarriages – one almost fatal – but his literary life reaches an unprecedented high. The Tamil Cultural Association in Calcutta becomes as much a part of his life as Accountancy and earns him among other things an award from the hands of Kaviarasu Kannadhaasan for his commentary on the novel Marapasu (by Thi. Janakiraman).
On November 11, 1984 amidst unprecedented floods the boy from Asokapuri – who would learn some years later that he had been shortchanged with regard to his property rights in the village – inaugurates a new home as a man of 33. Four months later almost to the date, after several months of penance (sometimes I wonder if my parents would have been better off without it because it yielded me! What a pity;)), they have a son who is named Raghavendra by the maternal side, Prasanna by the paternal side and Srinivas officially after the rich Lord of the Seven Hills and his (I mean MINE, not Lord Srinivasa’s) paternal grandfather.
[Aside: Now that I have done enough to make ‘my own birth’ seem like a historic and histrionic occurrence, let me get back to dad’s life! :D]
On October 3, 1986 a little angel – with eyes which used to be everyone’s envy apparently even when she was a child – is born. It is mainly his choice to have a female child and theory has it that his son - all of one year and a half and some crankily incomprehensible syllables (yup! I have not changed you see;)) – suggested the name with which she is called at home “Abhilasha”! (Indeed, she is the convergence of all our wishes).
Further, his latent aspirations to be a teacher get fulfilled when he is transferred as a faculty to the Staff College (earlier situated in Mount Road, now in Koyambedu) where he gets accolades galore for his behavioural science classes even though he has had no prior expertise on the subject. The Staff College experience also brings him in touch with a number of brilliant minds. Mr. S. Ganesan (now retired G.M), the Principal at the College, is particularly an inspiration and turns out to be his mentor in many important matters years later.
Just as night follows day, so a young family’s first strides in a new world are interrupted by an occurrence that leaves everyone hurt and a dignified man in Sampath humiliated.
The 1990’s
The decade starts with what is in his son’s mind one of the most enduring memories of his father – seeing him cry his heart out for the death of his father almost as if his heart depended on it.
[Aside: The jolting death of my grandfather who suffered just for one night with a passing sickness probably taught my father about the extemporaneous nature of all our lives and the need to be stoical in triumph and disaster. To this day, I hear the echoes of dad’s crying and tears on that August morning – I was five and to be honest a little scared!]
Recovering from the depression after his father’s death and the stinging humiliations of the last part of the previous decade, he picks up the pieces of his life with newfound equanimity (and a son who irritatingly or endearingly never leaves his side when he is on unofficial grounds). During the middle of the decade, he spearheads a professional protest against the bank’s delay in promoting professionals, a clogging period of about twelve years that cost many men who joined with dad their enthusiasm for the job, sanity and everything else that comes with these qualities. The promotion eventually arrives in 1996 (after a wait of more than twelve years!) and takes him to the country’s capital. Eleven months later, his stint at Delhi ends with a posting to Hong Kong during what is the last year of British governance in that country.
[Aside: Reporting to work, if I am right, in June 1997 dad gets the first taste of the difficulty of his name – and surname;) – for Chinese among other things. His local colleagues deliberately (and fondly) refer to him as Samba (which sounds rather like a nice African name or the start of Calypso or African song but not like a Tamil iyengar’s name by any stretch of the imagination – mine, yours or the world’s!) and the immigration department accidentally refers to his extended initials Kodavasal Srinivasa Raghavan as kodvasri – now you know where the man’s email id comes from – with the icing on the cake being this: his name in the HK id card actually sings the praise of his father, his place of birth, his “khandhaan” and all the rest of it with his own name abbreviated to an initial. It reads: Kodavasal Srinivasa Raghavan S(ampath Kumar).]
1998 is another autumnal year for the family as his aunt and mother walk into the sunlight. At the centre of doing what needs to be done is his able-minded wife who does a remarkable job under pressure (something he remembers indelibly and even thanks her for awkwardly years later!) He returns home for a week for his mother’s death and returns to Hong Kong to his first accident abroad, homesickness and other issues. But the summer vacations bring relief and the company of his wife and children who spend a couple of months with him. In 1999, he spends some part of the summer in Hong Kong with his family and returns to Madras for his son’s upanayanam.
Returning to Hong Kong, he receives the Presidency of the Tamil cultural association, a responsibility he revels in given his love for the arts in general and anything related to Tamil in particular, and not a post he uses to pump his chest unnecessarily. He spends the last day of an eventful millennium at office waiting anxiously for Y2k and to check if the attendant threats are any real. During the wee-hours of a wintry morning, he welcomes the new millennium with a couple of his colleagues quietly in his office as the city outside goes delightfully berserk with fireworks along the South China Sea.
The early noughties
Four remarkably asymmetrical set of occurrences set the decade in motion. First, he needs to handle the newfound misery his son experiences with studies in general and Maths in particular in his tenth standard. By handling it both emotionally and intellectually – even though from a long distance – he keeps the word he had given his son during the summer of 1999: “tholukku minjinaal thozhan!”, whence the friend-dad and friend-son signatures. Second, he and his friend-son come high and dry in the summer of 2000 on discovering the loss of the latter’s passport after the volcanic relief of his delayed arrival is celebrated even by the skies. Third – on an October evening in 2002 – he receives an email from his homesick son in Bangalore saying that he cannot take anymore of law or this college – a pirouetting act from a usually steady-minded boy that must have stung him hard. But true to his nature which entails keeping his emotions below the decibel levels of his heartbeat, he never shows his hurt. But to balance it out (if such balancing out is possible at all), his daughter does herself, the family and everyone she knows proud by turning out State Second in Economics at the Class XII board exams in 2003.
[Aside: My sister is the 2000’s avatar of Sampath Kumar. Version 2.0 if you have watched Endhiran! ;) Second factor behind why I feel a pronounced sense of mortality! :D]
On the official front, he returns from Hong Kong for good after a few months short of five years and is posted to the Accounts Department in Madras (which has become Chennai by now hopefully, forgive my absent-mindedness!:D) in arguably his toughest assignment. The very first balance sheet the bank brings out under his stint demands every sinew of his body, every smidgen of his mind, every shade of his interpersonal skills and above all – although hitherto kept hidden – every ounce of his convictions. Burning the midnight oil becomes a routine in the months of April and May but within a period of two years he transmutes the image of the department from being just a tough (and sometimes tiring) one to an important one with a team that inspires him and he inspires. Although every now and then, the team gets splintered leaving him the onus of training newer people, he manages the transition with consummate professionalism reserving even a bit of the wit he receives from his experiences for his children at night.
In 2006, both his son and daughter leave for different capital cities – the former to Hyderabad and the latter to Bangalore – in their bid to form their own future. There is an unmistakable sense of loss but there is also pride probably in the way they take charge of their lives. He admits from time to time that he regrets not having been with his children during their teens but that his wife has moulded them into fine, independent and conscionable human beings.
In 2007 he joins his son in Hyderabad after getting promoted as Assistant General Manager. The adventures of two men in the kitchen (one who is a half-decent cook and the other who is a half-decent aspiring cook!), the Sunday morning car drives, the Birla Mandhir trips and watching cricket matches in that small TV in a palatial house fill his life with quiet contentment. It also reminds him of the similarity of his and his son’s life – his professional life had begun in the Pearl City and here he is, celebrating the beginning of his son’s own life in the same city.
But he has to handle surprises – or probably shocks (yours truly will never know) – in an otherwise smooth year. First his son’s confession: that he is in love. Then his own battles (I assume) to come to terms with his son’s decision for he has obviously never been the “love” person. Together, they come through as friends! By and by, he starts being called a “cool father”, a “one in thousand father” and such like by his children’s friends, tags his children feel become a remarkable man, a loving father, a witty friend and a sensible and sensitive human being!
2008-2010
Mid 2008 feels utopian as it gets! He, his wife, son and daughter are back together in their hometown for the first time in two years and for three solid months at that! But the latter half beckons separations and in more than one way: as often with their lives, his son and daughter are both set to leave Madras at the same time – within a space of 48 hours. Yet before his son’s departure, he hears that his son has already suffered a separation – from the relationship he spoke of earlier this year – which would either make this separation less painful or aggravate the pains out of it!
[Aside: I request people to exercise restraint when interpreting these lines for these form a son’s gratitude to his father and are not, I repeat, NOT intended to liberate the ghosts of the past laid to rest]
In an admirable, why even Herculean, task of healing his son’s heart he lives through pains and anxieties himself, questions his own emotional dealings in the past – given that he is a believer in God and a man who feels that there IS something called the karmic cycle – prays and fasts for his son and talks to him and emails him through the day, week and month notwithstanding the pressures on his health and mind from work. In November, he visits him in Mumbai for a weekend. As he sits on the return flight, he finds his eyes moisten for the first time in nineteen long years: the tears of his twenty-five year old son that wetted his shoulder earlier this day and the words he had spoken, seemed to come from the edge of a life and shake the very core of his being
[Aside: I am not too sure if I can ever convey my gratitude or my apologies in full measure to my dad! But then I hope I can do to the world what he did to me].
During the months that it takes for his son’s emotional storm to pass – a storm that because of his hypersensitivity, recklessness and foolishness threatened to engulf the whole family’s peace – all his foremost qualities are brought to the fore. In his attempts to find a solution, he never veers away from his peaceful nature. But he still makes the right decisions, speaks the right words and even earns the unstinting respect of the arbitrator who his son’s best friend and probably others as well. He says, “Your father is a remarkable man! Any other person in that position would have at least been harsh. At least for his sake, you should claw your way back into normalcy!” All through he still fears “the worst” only to be consoled by wife who keeps quipping: “I believe in my children and he will be back.” After June 2009, sunshine slowly returns to his son’s life and to his as well. He may never admit it or talk about it or consider it great – he may even call it his duty as a father – but the truth as his son will hold it as this: “Amma gave me my first life; you gave me my second.”
He has himself ascended a scale higher in the bank where he has spent thirty-one remarkable years with those thick-rimmed glasses, that short almost frail build, a mind that is sangfroid although it does like to think that it gets tensed from time to time and a commitment to quality that may put his son’s cheesy “workaholic ph(r)ases” to shame. Symptoms of diabetes have made him walk around like he is on a mission at night; he takes it so seriously that his children and wife fear that walking may be his latest ailment. He has lost his only blood brother and bemoans the fact that he did not get to see his face during the final painful moments of a life lived in pain but in uncompromising honour, perfectionism, self-possession and endurance. He still reads a Jeyakanthan or a Balakumaran novel for a half hour before bed even if he comes home at 11 p.m. He still gives new short names to his children (who are in their mid-twenties), irritates his wife by trying to be funny in talking incorrigibly fast, can give most stand-up comedians a run for their money if the mood strikes him, gobbles a simple sambar-idly with a delightfully familiar Tamilian appetite and remains the boy from Ashokapuri at heart. Experience has made him smarter and stronger. Life has made him accept alternative viewpoints but not change his own principles. Opportunists have made him wary; the few friends he has had have made him understand that there is life outside of family; but nobody has been able to taint, mangle, distort or exploit that Libran fairness in which he finds shelter, support, clarity, freedom, his conscience, God and almost everything that is dear to his life.
As he walks into the 60th year of his life, here’s a humble son wishing a magnificent father Many More Happy Returns of the Day!!!
rated 5.0 by EVERY READER.
As i enter my 61st birth day as per birth star today ((8/10/11)(Yes Sadhaya NATCHATRAM has begun in late after noon on date and will last till 12.54 AM tomorrow(9/10/2011)i am reminded of the best gift that i got from my son , last year when i entered my 60 th year.it was a blog post, spontaneous and splendid , for its sequence of events and the description of details of my journey over the 59 years to 0ct ,11,2010.While i can not takecredit for many superlatives that have been used in the said blog, in reference to me (which could be understood by any reader as expression of love of a darling son to his beloved father) i would stioll commend the post as one of the most honest attempts to describe how a son has portrayed his father..ACTIONS, MOODS AND feelings.
I am reproducing the post by my son which apperared in his blog on oCt 11, last year for the benfit of readers of my blog, as possibly the post details even the details which i have forgotten my self.(at the end of this post)
And my birth date as per English Calendar falls on 11th of this month. As it normally happens in our customs, there had been enquiries all over time and again as to why i am not going for celebration of 'Shastiapthapoorthy".
There existed two reasons for the same earlier.
1) I really do not think that it calls for a celebration of sorts.2)And a celebration looses its meaning when your near and dear son is not around.
My daughter might pick up a quarrel with me as to why i should not celebrate when she is around.And the answer is that she is now queen of another house hold and as such her priorities , even if i wish, should not be allowed to change because of me.
The strongest possible reason , as it emerges now is that i have lost one of my very close and dear friend Venkatraman, (a batch mate of mine who retired in APRIL 2011) to the killer decease cancer, on the day of Saraswathi pooja.And few of my friends from the opposite gender are not around whose presence would have made a definite impact on the whole proceedings. In fact the series of mishaps which I encountered earlier(loss of my brother in the beginning of 2010 and that of my maternal son in late October 2010, and that of my nephew in June 2011) have completely wiped out the charm of such celebrations .
And hence the decision not to celebrate it on a big scale and instead confine it to a Kalyana Urchavam at Nanganallur Anjaneyar temple. And Lord Anjaneya happens to be my “ishta deivam.”A deity which stands for confidence, humbleness and self awareness. It will be a small gathering of my /my wife’s sisters and their families (except the one form Bhopal), my eldest cousin brother and his family and my dear daughter and her husband. I wanted to make it clear thru this column that by not inviting the rest, no offence is meant to anyone. Perhaps this time we were not destined to meet and rejoice for reasons stated above, but sooner than later there will be occasions to meet, when I am confident that we can make good the lost times.
I am sure my friends and well wishers who happen to read this blog will be able to appreciate the sentiments expressed herein and am sure that i can count on their wishes/blessings depending upon which side of the age group they belong to as i count the number of days to my superannuation.
As my son's post would depict it had been a long journey. Not a journey of bed of roses, but one full of challenges. The fact that my forefathers and teachers have taught me how to handle life when it becomes toughest and the guidance which I have always received from the Supreme Power above whenever it was most needed had kept me going all along and am sure that these will stand by me till the end.
And to fill in the gaps , i.e between the time when I turned 59 and sixty,here are the tidbits.
a) I finalized my last full year balance sheet for my bank as on 31/3/2011 and is already busy with the finalization of half yearly results.(My last responsibility to my beloved bank)for 30/9/2011.
b) I discharged one of my life’s most important responsibilities ..Getting my daughter married to the person whom she liked.There are moments which called for greater understanding, appreciation of each other;s perspective,anxiety and tension but always under control thanks to those around including my friend son, few relatives from wife's side and some of my office colleagues who helped in their own inimitable style to take it forward proving the proverb that ll is well that ends well.My sincere thanks to each one thru this blog.
c) I saw one of my dreams of my son going abroad coming true..The starting point for the long innings that he is destined to play as a research scholar abroad to win laurels..
d) I have seen that time and again life keeps its surprises in store for you, some of them pleasant and some of them spelling disaster and thereby making one understand that is the essence of life..Its unpredictability.
e) I have few questions to ponder..Most important being what next?
f) I am sure that as it always happened time will tell me the answer and in the words of one of my best friends TRC , “THE answer is already there but it is waiting for an opportune time to be made known to me”
I sign off with gratitude to one and all and with prayers to almighty as I enter my sixty first year recalling the following from Bhagwat Geetha.WHAT HAPPENED HAS HAPPENED WELL
WHAT IS HAPPENING IS HAPPENING WELL
AND WHAT IS TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN WELL TOO.
May the almighty enable me to enlighten my life as hither to.
*********************************************,
Reproduced is the text from my son’s blog ‘Myriad Joiurneys”
Monday, October 11, 2010Sampath at 59 # Timeline (for my father as he enters his 60th year):
Prefatory Note: They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Not that I have ever believed in it but I thought it was better to come up with a "reliving" kind of post for appa's birthday similar to the ones appa had written for me last month and after sister's birthday earlier this month. This act of imitation, however, is no flattery. They are a proud son's third person account of a great father's life!
1950s:
11 October 1951: A male child is born to Mr. Kodasvasal Srinivasa Raghavacharry (a name that has been the subject of much legacy and humour) Mrs. Vedavalli Srinivasa Raghavacharry. He is the last child in the family (but would by no stretch of imagination turn out to be the least); is more than a decade younger than the other son in the family; and 47 years younger than his dad. He is named Sampath Kumar.
After some joyful years of schooling in Vizhuppuram, commuting often by the nostalgic Austin car from the family’s village Asokapuri, with the company of green fields, Prathap uncle and chithappas and perippas making it an enviable experience (especially for a 1980’s lad like me!) he travels North to Madras to live with his eldest sister and brother-in-law. Two of his sisters are also there. But for a boy so young, moving away from his parents and the delectable languidness of village life is probably painful and gives him the first inklings of the fact that not everything in life comes out of freewill and choice.
[Aside: The pictures that appa paints about life in those two-roomed little “portions” in the T. Nagar of the 1950’s and 1960’s are amongst the most authentic accounts of personal history I have heard about Madras as it was immediately after independence.]
The 1960s
At the onset of the decade, he sees his eldest sister, under whose guardianship he is, give birth to their second daughter, Subhashini, who would become his wife two decades later almost to the date (more on that later). But the period is mainly characterised by a young boy’s will to tide over the inconveniences of dingy personal space and having to share it with too many people, the sometimes temperamental and oftentimes ‘jolly good throaty’ nature of his brother in law, the emotional battles triggered by being away from folks and rustic surroundings, and yet do something in life.
Family lore – particularly through the mouth of my maternal grandfather (who is also the aforementioned brother-in-law, a gregarious and generous man for all his mood swings) – has it that in studies the boy found both his calling as well as distraction. Sampath’s determination to take charge of his life was evidenced nowhere better than his readings under the streetlight after the entire house settles into rest and darkness.
[Aside: And when I think of some of the facilities, not to mention all the emotional support, love and the tag of being THE boy, I have had in my life, I wonder if I have achieved anything at all. That is not to compare myself with dad but to put his own efforts into proper context].
Later in the decade, the late hours with books bear fruit as he tops Ramakrishna High School (all branches) in English and Tamil (first signs of his linguistic excellence!) and the North Branch, if I am right, in Mathematics with his SSLC scores. He is grateful that he has had the best teachers (a fortunate that his son continues to share years later!) But there is no triumphalism for there seems to be no compelling reason to justify it. If anything, the high school topping experience proves two things: he can come out on top even under non-optimal conditions and can turn things passed onto him by force to transform himself – a leitmotif that pretty much tells the story of his life.
No sooner does he join Vivekananda College for a Bachelors Degree in Mathematics and pay the fees than he gets the money refunded through the government merit scholarship. For a boy from a decent but not overly strong financial background – who to keeps one part of the ten paisa pocket money he is given so that he can buy some groundnuts and walk back home rather than take a bus – the scholarship is a huge encouragement if not a shot in the arm.
The 1970s
He excels in among other subjects Astronomy and Calculus. But for a slip in the final semester, he would in fact have crossed the (what in those days was a magical) 90% bar. As things stand, he received a B.Sc., in Mathematics with a distinction (one of life’s little anticipatory ironies, I suppose, as his son would turn out to be a dud in that subject although born in the same month as Albert Einstein!!!) His literary taste gets kindled and he grows into quite a fierce debater as well (although amma would say he took the need for fierceness in debating a little too literally).
He feels that teaching is his calling and wants to do a post-grad in Mathematics en route to becoming a college lecturer. Once again life shows him an unanticipated path at the crossroads, the direction – rather the instruction – this time coming from his chithappa (uncle), an affluent bank manager and arguably the most influential of the five brothers in the family, who asks him to do CA. Sampath lands in Hyderabad – a place where his son would commence his journey towards becoming an academic several years later – at the place of a “romba dhoorathu sondham” (lit. very distant relative) probably knowing only that CA stood for Chartered Accountancy. (Little would he have known then that this design was yet again going to take him places). After a brief stint at his relative’s, he shifts to a small room near LB stadium. Studies, occasional movies, like-minded friends, Birla Mandhir (or the place where it stands now) and (the now old) MLA canteen become part of his life’s already rich tapestry. He shows a remarkable ability to adapt – and adapt quickly – to new places, something that would fast become a feature of his life although emotional quandaries lead him back to Madras overnight after two years.
Madras finds him doing his article-ship at R. G & Price and Co, a stint that entails much travel and one that would augment his unique appreciation of every place, its people, culture, food habits etc. On the academic side, after falling short in one subject despite achieving the overall aggregate – Managerial Economics I think – in the first attempt, he proves his credentials (and in equal measure his life’s inherent sense of humour) in the second attempt by scoring his highest marks in the subject he failed last time which is sufficient to get him an All-India Rank (below 30 if my maudlin memory serves me right).
[Aside: Now you know where my pronounced feeling of personal mortality comes from!!! Wink wink!]
In his late twenties, being the first Chartered Accountant in all of the extended family – and it probably feels like the world itself (but he is a man whose feet judiciously prefer to stand on solid ground rather than flirt with thin and flattering air) – may slightly tempt him to set up his own private practice. But bearing in mind his own nature, his family’s position, his penchant for steadiness over adventure and a number of other things – typical of his remarkable ability to summarise future trends in no time – he decides to get employed. HMT International (Bangalore) and Allahabad (Calcutta) wind up what is an eventful decade – one that has taken him from being a good student to a promising professional in his field.
The 1980s
Two irrevocable things happen during the first year of the decade: he gets appointed by the Indian Overseas Bank at Madras (and gets posted BACK to Calcutta in another of life’s teasing gestures!) and gets married to his eldest sister’s first daughter on May 12, 1980. The first three years and a part of the fourth get spent in Calcutta. Personal life is difficult with mom undergoing two miscarriages – one almost fatal – but his literary life reaches an unprecedented high. The Tamil Cultural Association in Calcutta becomes as much a part of his life as Accountancy and earns him among other things an award from the hands of Kaviarasu Kannadhaasan for his commentary on the novel Marapasu (by Thi. Janakiraman).
On November 11, 1984 amidst unprecedented floods the boy from Asokapuri – who would learn some years later that he had been shortchanged with regard to his property rights in the village – inaugurates a new home as a man of 33. Four months later almost to the date, after several months of penance (sometimes I wonder if my parents would have been better off without it because it yielded me! What a pity;)), they have a son who is named Raghavendra by the maternal side, Prasanna by the paternal side and Srinivas officially after the rich Lord of the Seven Hills and his (I mean MINE, not Lord Srinivasa’s) paternal grandfather.
[Aside: Now that I have done enough to make ‘my own birth’ seem like a historic and histrionic occurrence, let me get back to dad’s life! :D]
On October 3, 1986 a little angel – with eyes which used to be everyone’s envy apparently even when she was a child – is born. It is mainly his choice to have a female child and theory has it that his son - all of one year and a half and some crankily incomprehensible syllables (yup! I have not changed you see;)) – suggested the name with which she is called at home “Abhilasha”! (Indeed, she is the convergence of all our wishes).
Further, his latent aspirations to be a teacher get fulfilled when he is transferred as a faculty to the Staff College (earlier situated in Mount Road, now in Koyambedu) where he gets accolades galore for his behavioural science classes even though he has had no prior expertise on the subject. The Staff College experience also brings him in touch with a number of brilliant minds. Mr. S. Ganesan (now retired G.M), the Principal at the College, is particularly an inspiration and turns out to be his mentor in many important matters years later.
Just as night follows day, so a young family’s first strides in a new world are interrupted by an occurrence that leaves everyone hurt and a dignified man in Sampath humiliated.
The 1990’s
The decade starts with what is in his son’s mind one of the most enduring memories of his father – seeing him cry his heart out for the death of his father almost as if his heart depended on it.
[Aside: The jolting death of my grandfather who suffered just for one night with a passing sickness probably taught my father about the extemporaneous nature of all our lives and the need to be stoical in triumph and disaster. To this day, I hear the echoes of dad’s crying and tears on that August morning – I was five and to be honest a little scared!]
Recovering from the depression after his father’s death and the stinging humiliations of the last part of the previous decade, he picks up the pieces of his life with newfound equanimity (and a son who irritatingly or endearingly never leaves his side when he is on unofficial grounds). During the middle of the decade, he spearheads a professional protest against the bank’s delay in promoting professionals, a clogging period of about twelve years that cost many men who joined with dad their enthusiasm for the job, sanity and everything else that comes with these qualities. The promotion eventually arrives in 1996 (after a wait of more than twelve years!) and takes him to the country’s capital. Eleven months later, his stint at Delhi ends with a posting to Hong Kong during what is the last year of British governance in that country.
[Aside: Reporting to work, if I am right, in June 1997 dad gets the first taste of the difficulty of his name – and surname;) – for Chinese among other things. His local colleagues deliberately (and fondly) refer to him as Samba (which sounds rather like a nice African name or the start of Calypso or African song but not like a Tamil iyengar’s name by any stretch of the imagination – mine, yours or the world’s!) and the immigration department accidentally refers to his extended initials Kodavasal Srinivasa Raghavan as kodvasri – now you know where the man’s email id comes from – with the icing on the cake being this: his name in the HK id card actually sings the praise of his father, his place of birth, his “khandhaan” and all the rest of it with his own name abbreviated to an initial. It reads: Kodavasal Srinivasa Raghavan S(ampath Kumar).]
1998 is another autumnal year for the family as his aunt and mother walk into the sunlight. At the centre of doing what needs to be done is his able-minded wife who does a remarkable job under pressure (something he remembers indelibly and even thanks her for awkwardly years later!) He returns home for a week for his mother’s death and returns to Hong Kong to his first accident abroad, homesickness and other issues. But the summer vacations bring relief and the company of his wife and children who spend a couple of months with him. In 1999, he spends some part of the summer in Hong Kong with his family and returns to Madras for his son’s upanayanam.
Returning to Hong Kong, he receives the Presidency of the Tamil cultural association, a responsibility he revels in given his love for the arts in general and anything related to Tamil in particular, and not a post he uses to pump his chest unnecessarily. He spends the last day of an eventful millennium at office waiting anxiously for Y2k and to check if the attendant threats are any real. During the wee-hours of a wintry morning, he welcomes the new millennium with a couple of his colleagues quietly in his office as the city outside goes delightfully berserk with fireworks along the South China Sea.
The early noughties
Four remarkably asymmetrical set of occurrences set the decade in motion. First, he needs to handle the newfound misery his son experiences with studies in general and Maths in particular in his tenth standard. By handling it both emotionally and intellectually – even though from a long distance – he keeps the word he had given his son during the summer of 1999: “tholukku minjinaal thozhan!”, whence the friend-dad and friend-son signatures. Second, he and his friend-son come high and dry in the summer of 2000 on discovering the loss of the latter’s passport after the volcanic relief of his delayed arrival is celebrated even by the skies. Third – on an October evening in 2002 – he receives an email from his homesick son in Bangalore saying that he cannot take anymore of law or this college – a pirouetting act from a usually steady-minded boy that must have stung him hard. But true to his nature which entails keeping his emotions below the decibel levels of his heartbeat, he never shows his hurt. But to balance it out (if such balancing out is possible at all), his daughter does herself, the family and everyone she knows proud by turning out State Second in Economics at the Class XII board exams in 2003.
[Aside: My sister is the 2000’s avatar of Sampath Kumar. Version 2.0 if you have watched Endhiran! ;) Second factor behind why I feel a pronounced sense of mortality! :D]
On the official front, he returns from Hong Kong for good after a few months short of five years and is posted to the Accounts Department in Madras (which has become Chennai by now hopefully, forgive my absent-mindedness!:D) in arguably his toughest assignment. The very first balance sheet the bank brings out under his stint demands every sinew of his body, every smidgen of his mind, every shade of his interpersonal skills and above all – although hitherto kept hidden – every ounce of his convictions. Burning the midnight oil becomes a routine in the months of April and May but within a period of two years he transmutes the image of the department from being just a tough (and sometimes tiring) one to an important one with a team that inspires him and he inspires. Although every now and then, the team gets splintered leaving him the onus of training newer people, he manages the transition with consummate professionalism reserving even a bit of the wit he receives from his experiences for his children at night.
In 2006, both his son and daughter leave for different capital cities – the former to Hyderabad and the latter to Bangalore – in their bid to form their own future. There is an unmistakable sense of loss but there is also pride probably in the way they take charge of their lives. He admits from time to time that he regrets not having been with his children during their teens but that his wife has moulded them into fine, independent and conscionable human beings.
In 2007 he joins his son in Hyderabad after getting promoted as Assistant General Manager. The adventures of two men in the kitchen (one who is a half-decent cook and the other who is a half-decent aspiring cook!), the Sunday morning car drives, the Birla Mandhir trips and watching cricket matches in that small TV in a palatial house fill his life with quiet contentment. It also reminds him of the similarity of his and his son’s life – his professional life had begun in the Pearl City and here he is, celebrating the beginning of his son’s own life in the same city.
But he has to handle surprises – or probably shocks (yours truly will never know) – in an otherwise smooth year. First his son’s confession: that he is in love. Then his own battles (I assume) to come to terms with his son’s decision for he has obviously never been the “love” person. Together, they come through as friends! By and by, he starts being called a “cool father”, a “one in thousand father” and such like by his children’s friends, tags his children feel become a remarkable man, a loving father, a witty friend and a sensible and sensitive human being!
2008-2010
Mid 2008 feels utopian as it gets! He, his wife, son and daughter are back together in their hometown for the first time in two years and for three solid months at that! But the latter half beckons separations and in more than one way: as often with their lives, his son and daughter are both set to leave Madras at the same time – within a space of 48 hours. Yet before his son’s departure, he hears that his son has already suffered a separation – from the relationship he spoke of earlier this year – which would either make this separation less painful or aggravate the pains out of it!
[Aside: I request people to exercise restraint when interpreting these lines for these form a son’s gratitude to his father and are not, I repeat, NOT intended to liberate the ghosts of the past laid to rest]
In an admirable, why even Herculean, task of healing his son’s heart he lives through pains and anxieties himself, questions his own emotional dealings in the past – given that he is a believer in God and a man who feels that there IS something called the karmic cycle – prays and fasts for his son and talks to him and emails him through the day, week and month notwithstanding the pressures on his health and mind from work. In November, he visits him in Mumbai for a weekend. As he sits on the return flight, he finds his eyes moisten for the first time in nineteen long years: the tears of his twenty-five year old son that wetted his shoulder earlier this day and the words he had spoken, seemed to come from the edge of a life and shake the very core of his being
[Aside: I am not too sure if I can ever convey my gratitude or my apologies in full measure to my dad! But then I hope I can do to the world what he did to me].
During the months that it takes for his son’s emotional storm to pass – a storm that because of his hypersensitivity, recklessness and foolishness threatened to engulf the whole family’s peace – all his foremost qualities are brought to the fore. In his attempts to find a solution, he never veers away from his peaceful nature. But he still makes the right decisions, speaks the right words and even earns the unstinting respect of the arbitrator who his son’s best friend and probably others as well. He says, “Your father is a remarkable man! Any other person in that position would have at least been harsh. At least for his sake, you should claw your way back into normalcy!” All through he still fears “the worst” only to be consoled by wife who keeps quipping: “I believe in my children and he will be back.” After June 2009, sunshine slowly returns to his son’s life and to his as well. He may never admit it or talk about it or consider it great – he may even call it his duty as a father – but the truth as his son will hold it as this: “Amma gave me my first life; you gave me my second.”
He has himself ascended a scale higher in the bank where he has spent thirty-one remarkable years with those thick-rimmed glasses, that short almost frail build, a mind that is sangfroid although it does like to think that it gets tensed from time to time and a commitment to quality that may put his son’s cheesy “workaholic ph(r)ases” to shame. Symptoms of diabetes have made him walk around like he is on a mission at night; he takes it so seriously that his children and wife fear that walking may be his latest ailment. He has lost his only blood brother and bemoans the fact that he did not get to see his face during the final painful moments of a life lived in pain but in uncompromising honour, perfectionism, self-possession and endurance. He still reads a Jeyakanthan or a Balakumaran novel for a half hour before bed even if he comes home at 11 p.m. He still gives new short names to his children (who are in their mid-twenties), irritates his wife by trying to be funny in talking incorrigibly fast, can give most stand-up comedians a run for their money if the mood strikes him, gobbles a simple sambar-idly with a delightfully familiar Tamilian appetite and remains the boy from Ashokapuri at heart. Experience has made him smarter and stronger. Life has made him accept alternative viewpoints but not change his own principles. Opportunists have made him wary; the few friends he has had have made him understand that there is life outside of family; but nobody has been able to taint, mangle, distort or exploit that Libran fairness in which he finds shelter, support, clarity, freedom, his conscience, God and almost everything that is dear to his life.
As he walks into the 60th year of his life, here’s a humble son wishing a magnificent father Many More Happy Returns of the Day!!!
rated 5.0 by EVERY READER.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
thi.janagiraman-tamil novels
I just finished reading one more of the finest Novels by Thi,Janagiraman.
Thi stands for Thevan Kudi in TANJORE DISTRICT.The fact that i also belonged to Tanjore district enabled me to appreciate the niceties and nuances of the cahracters etched by Janagi raman all the more.
The novel is titled as "Nala bagam".For the readers who are not very familiar with the tamil language, the best tasty food is always attributed to the preparations of BHEEMA and Nala who during their difficult days were reported to have chosen Cooking as their means of livelihood to stay away from the evil,waiting for the right time to come to make known their presence.
Thus as the title aptly indicates the novel is about the character called Kameswaran, who has chosen to be a Cook for the pilgrims from the south when they travel to North by way of conducted tours.NAME Kameswaran itself is symbolic and denotes a person who is loveable .
The story starts with Hot tiffin(IDDLY with Milagai podi,PONGAL and GOTSU with MEDHU VADA and Chutney) being served to the travellers with love and affection by Kameswaran.Waht follows is one of the gripping portrayal of the type of characters whom he happens to confront and how it takes his life along.
There is a fellow traveller who incidentally happens to be an astrologer. Because of his ability to predict things accurately(or so it is made to believe)one another traveller Rangamnai(mid forties) consults as to whether her son (an adopted one at that) will have issues of his own.ASTROLOGER predicts that her son may not have a child but his wife certainly shall have one.Wht follows therafter are incidents beatifully tied with each other and chracters each of whom had been chiselled to such perfection.
On hearing the prediction Rangamani invites KAMESWARAN to resign his job and instead come along with her and stay in her house doing poojas for the welfare of the family.In earlier chapters Kameswaran's masculinity, his devotion to Goddess Sakthi and his ability to focus all his sences the good of the felelow beings ahve all been described.
Kameswaran accepts the invitation and goes to Kumbakonam , the place of Rangamani.Description of Kumbakonam and its surroundings, the style of language used by the chracters are all another treat to readers.Kameswaran comes to know at kumbakonam(when he meets the astrologer by coincidence) that perhaps he has been invited to the house so that he can be the cause for the child to be borne to Rangamani's daughter in law.
The way in which all these three cahracters, Rangamani, her adopted son and her daughterin law relate to KAMESWARAN and how KAMESWARAN escapes the weaker moments all form part of the rest of the story.
This is not the first of the novels which i have read of Janagi Raman.I have in fact read almost all novels if i may say so. Ammini in MARAPPASU (about which i wrote a critical commentary and won the prize for the same during my days in kolkatta from none other than the one and only poet Kannadasan whom i always admire) , JAMUNA in Moga mul are the characters etched grEen in my memory .His other novels Uyir then and Anbe aramude are known for their concepts while MARAPPASU and Mogamul are known for its chracters.While it has always been the case of praising woman hood (atleast in most of his novels)nala bagam apprecaites the MANHOOD..
At the end of Novel,there is a sence of satisfaction , content and peace to the reader which very few novels are capable of giving. Some one said that books perse are not good or bad but it is the reader's mind which makes it appear so,AGRRED But then only few novelists have the capacity and greatness to describe both the positive and negative sides with such grace and artistry that at the end of it one starts appreciating how fortunate we are to be in this world to be blessed to read such books.
HATS OFF TO janagi raman and his characters who are not from heaven, but who represent our friends and neighbours only.
More on the works of JANAGIRAMAN and other writers who also happen to be from Kumbakonam and near by places later. My admiration for them grew by leaps and bound simply not because i belong to KODAVASAL, another town near Kumbakonam, but because they gave me further insights into the human beahaviour , the tradition and culture as it is built over generation after generation.
There is a new window and door opened every time when you read such novels.And more light and breeze starts flowing in. As jayakanthan said in "KAGITHAM OTTAPPATTA JANNALGAL", the world at large becomes a better place to live in.
Thi stands for Thevan Kudi in TANJORE DISTRICT.The fact that i also belonged to Tanjore district enabled me to appreciate the niceties and nuances of the cahracters etched by Janagi raman all the more.
The novel is titled as "Nala bagam".For the readers who are not very familiar with the tamil language, the best tasty food is always attributed to the preparations of BHEEMA and Nala who during their difficult days were reported to have chosen Cooking as their means of livelihood to stay away from the evil,waiting for the right time to come to make known their presence.
Thus as the title aptly indicates the novel is about the character called Kameswaran, who has chosen to be a Cook for the pilgrims from the south when they travel to North by way of conducted tours.NAME Kameswaran itself is symbolic and denotes a person who is loveable .
The story starts with Hot tiffin(IDDLY with Milagai podi,PONGAL and GOTSU with MEDHU VADA and Chutney) being served to the travellers with love and affection by Kameswaran.Waht follows is one of the gripping portrayal of the type of characters whom he happens to confront and how it takes his life along.
There is a fellow traveller who incidentally happens to be an astrologer. Because of his ability to predict things accurately(or so it is made to believe)one another traveller Rangamnai(mid forties) consults as to whether her son (an adopted one at that) will have issues of his own.ASTROLOGER predicts that her son may not have a child but his wife certainly shall have one.Wht follows therafter are incidents beatifully tied with each other and chracters each of whom had been chiselled to such perfection.
On hearing the prediction Rangamani invites KAMESWARAN to resign his job and instead come along with her and stay in her house doing poojas for the welfare of the family.In earlier chapters Kameswaran's masculinity, his devotion to Goddess Sakthi and his ability to focus all his sences the good of the felelow beings ahve all been described.
Kameswaran accepts the invitation and goes to Kumbakonam , the place of Rangamani.Description of Kumbakonam and its surroundings, the style of language used by the chracters are all another treat to readers.Kameswaran comes to know at kumbakonam(when he meets the astrologer by coincidence) that perhaps he has been invited to the house so that he can be the cause for the child to be borne to Rangamani's daughter in law.
The way in which all these three cahracters, Rangamani, her adopted son and her daughterin law relate to KAMESWARAN and how KAMESWARAN escapes the weaker moments all form part of the rest of the story.
This is not the first of the novels which i have read of Janagi Raman.I have in fact read almost all novels if i may say so. Ammini in MARAPPASU (about which i wrote a critical commentary and won the prize for the same during my days in kolkatta from none other than the one and only poet Kannadasan whom i always admire) , JAMUNA in Moga mul are the characters etched grEen in my memory .His other novels Uyir then and Anbe aramude are known for their concepts while MARAPPASU and Mogamul are known for its chracters.While it has always been the case of praising woman hood (atleast in most of his novels)nala bagam apprecaites the MANHOOD..
At the end of Novel,there is a sence of satisfaction , content and peace to the reader which very few novels are capable of giving. Some one said that books perse are not good or bad but it is the reader's mind which makes it appear so,AGRRED But then only few novelists have the capacity and greatness to describe both the positive and negative sides with such grace and artistry that at the end of it one starts appreciating how fortunate we are to be in this world to be blessed to read such books.
HATS OFF TO janagi raman and his characters who are not from heaven, but who represent our friends and neighbours only.
More on the works of JANAGIRAMAN and other writers who also happen to be from Kumbakonam and near by places later. My admiration for them grew by leaps and bound simply not because i belong to KODAVASAL, another town near Kumbakonam, but because they gave me further insights into the human beahaviour , the tradition and culture as it is built over generation after generation.
There is a new window and door opened every time when you read such novels.And more light and breeze starts flowing in. As jayakanthan said in "KAGITHAM OTTAPPATTA JANNALGAL", the world at large becomes a better place to live in.
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