TO THE STONGER SEX(OFCOURSE TO WEAKER SEX TOO)

LOVE, SOME SAY IS BLIND.Some claim it to be divine.Some others discount it as chemistry of harmones.This issue is as complex as complexity of people itself.

But one thing is common amongst all those comments.These comments are from those who have tasted love(failure or success)and those who have heard others' experience of love and chose to pass comments on the same.

As a person who had been through love,and in love,even on date (as there are diifrent levels on which love can operate and not necessarily between a womam and man alone as is normally constured by majority ) and as a person who had seen others going thru the pros and cons of love, i thoght i should blog on this subject, especially in the context of incereasing cases of broken hearts leading to abnormal behaviours , on the part of those who feel that they have been rejected by their mates.

Though i would not like to make it gender specific, for fear of being dubbed as gender biased, still i would like to make the statement that in the present day world, it is the so called stronger sex , who are found to be prone to the risks arising out of pain of a broken love than the weaker sex.MAY BE I AM WRONG AND MAY BE I HAVE BEEN CLOSER ONLY TO CAES INVOLVING THE STRONGER SEX.That is however besides the point.The basic point is why do we react the way in which we react.Do we have any other rational behavoiur which we can exhibit?/

As i have been often repeating in these columns , love can make or break.This statement need not be construed as a justification by those who chose to take extreme measures, on the pretext of overcoming the pain.I would like to recall the movie"Varanam ayiram" which came very close to exhibiting the pains of a broken heart(not broken love!) in the recent past.The plus point of the movie was that it went beyond the pains of the person in broken relationship or lost relationship.It focussed on those who are near and dear to the person who were experiencing pains themselves too , may not be of the same degree but more or less on equal degrees on seeing the plight of the peson whom they love and whom they look for ward to as their future hope.

I have analysed the reasons for the behaviour exhibited by various persons in the last 25 years of my life(i.e since i attained adult hood or rather a balanced mind)and more particularly in the last 3-4 year , for it is in the recent past that this number appear to swell.I can tabulate them as under:

1.Total trust and faith in the other gender (i.e Control of mind by the heart with the result there is lack of rationale approach).Of course, i do agree that love is blind, but that is applicable to physical traits (beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder) and need not extend to loss of rationale/logic witnessed in very many cases.
2.Failure to accept that other persons(in one to one relation) may have their own limitations and reasons for a decision (including the decision to choose or reject)and failure to appreciate that the other person has as much freedom as one's own self to do that.(Here again i am not contemplating or justifying that the other person can at his/her free will and choice can enter or leave a realtionship at the drop of a hat).
3.The belief that the world is lost , simply because one person had chosen to end a relationship.
4.The false notion that the person is rejected whereas what is rejected is the kind of relationship that is all along contemplated. It is possible that a relationship may still continue as good friends or well wishers to each other.
5.The sudden distancing of one self from the rest of friends and the family(when one is in serious affair) with the result the near and dear are first perplexed by the distancing factor and later at the erratic behaviour when the affair turns sour.VERYOFTEN THAN NOT THIS DISTANCING FACTOR ITSELF ACTS AN IMPEDIMENT IN RUSHING TO THE NEEDY INDIVIDUAL TO GIVE THE REQUIRED SOLACE AND COMFORT.
6.Sudden lack of confidence in ones own image, abilities, potential and what not arising as result of the break in realtionship.If only we could remember that life is a journey and all those who come across are passengers in the journey, it would be easy to appreciate that not only the journey shall come to an end and that the passengers need not necessarily travel till the destination/

The journey is more important than the goal in itself as my son used to say.LET US REMEMBER THAT THE WORLD HAS MORE THINGS TO OFFER.WHEN ONE WINDOW IS CLOSED ANOTHER DOOR IS opened and we fail to realise the same in our agony of pains. AN OPPORTUNITY IS LOST PERMANANTLY.

THE LIFE IS TOO PRECIOUS TO SPEND WORRYING ON SUCH ISSUES. YOU /EVERY ONE OF US ARE BORN IN THIS WORLD TO ACHIEVE SOME THING AND ONCE THIS RECOGNITION COMES IN ,WAY OF LIVING AND WAY OF SEEING THE LIFE itself will undergo a change.

Life is short, journey is long, opportunities are plenty, responsibiliies are more: the making or marring of a relationship is not in other's hands but in one's own hands.Cheer up and face the world, the world will reciprocate in equal if not in more measure. YOU DID NOT HAVE A CHOICE ON TWO OF THE IMPORTANT EVENTS IN LIFE, BIRTH AND EATH AND WHY WORRY ON LOSS OF A CHOICE OF A RELATIONSHIP!!IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE GIFTED WITH A BETTER RELATIONSHIP IN DAYS TO COME.......
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A TRIP TO RAMESWARAM

I have earlier made a reference in one of my blog posts as to how certain events keep happening with such perfect periodicity, time and again.

This has again been witnessed by me. It was exactly about 20 years back when i had been to RAMESWARAM to do away with the sins (committed uptil then!!) so that i could muster strength to commit them once again.Now that 20 years is a long time when one should have accumulated enough sins to pay another visit and more than that some astrologers have suggested to me to go to that palce so that i can start discharging certain responsibilities, hiterto not attended to by me, with the blessings of the almighty. So the second trip after 20 years.

And it so happened (or it was so suggested) that the trip and the dip in the ocean shall take place on a day when Amavasya, falls on a Monday.Accordinly i made my plans.It so happened that it also coincided with Adi Amavasya.i.e three in one, somwar, amavasya and Adi month.This is stated to be a rare combination.And it seems that the entire world is aware of this except me, with the result, that i have been sucked into a crowd of human sea and the human sea dipped in to the Water sea right from early hours of Monday, the 9th (3.30 am) till late in the evening.

Hindu Religion is said to be the mother of all religions. Its strength remains inits diversity.It is in fact not a religion but a way of life initself. And all that is based on the trust and implicit faith the people have in it. And that is proved by the lacs and lacs of people who toook the dip on that holy day. I subsequently came to know that the number as per unofficial count is 5lacs plus.Think of a place like Rameswaram catering to the needs of 5las people round the clock.

And the expected happened. We had to go with out proper conveyance since morning till evening as all roads to seas has been blocked by the police,no vehicles allowed wiothin a radius of 2 kms.ADDED TO THAT EVERY THING WAS IN SHORT SUPPLY, THE WATER, TIFFIN FOOD ETC. Any way all that is forgotten when all of the pilgrims have onething in common, their absolute trust in Siva and RAMA.

last trip(i.e 20 years back) i was accompanied by my brother, sisiter in law, father and mother, my wife and kids.This trip it is me, my wife, daughter and sister alone.Intervening years have not only consumed memories but also the beloved ones Viz father, mother, sisiterinlaw and brother in that order.

I saluted to them on the daawn of the 9th , calling for their blessings, while having a dip in the sea.AND THE SATISFACTION IS IMMENSE.I HAVE REVISITED THEIR THOUGHTS and along with it revisited the warmth and love of them too.

mystery of universe

Quite often, i am astonished at the way in which the universe operates .The precision with which the sun and the moon do their duties , the manner in which monsoons keep happening,the change in seasons at the marked times and so on and so forth.Perhaps the recent 'GLOBAL WARMING" to some extent had an effect on the periodicity of these events, especially with reference to teh advent of the seasons.Still, the mystery of universe, or more so the discipline behind the same is always a puzzle.

To add to that, one more item caught my fancy.This was from a scientist, studying the OSMOS...meaning the multitude of universes.His findings are shocking and surprising at the same time.The observations are that there are very many black holes in the universe (which is already known to the man kind) and the latest revelation is that there could be planets couched in these black holes.Hold your breath!!His next surmise is that the earth itself could be in one of those black holes , hidden from the sight of the rest.Incidentally a black hole is described as one which is so black that it consumes all the light falling on it but do not llow any light to escape from it.Th emeaning is simple.See every thing, but do not be seen others.

If this is true, it would tantamount to saying that there could be vey many civilisations, very many living beings , different life styles, different scientific explosions,cultures of a different kind and so on.Human beings are struck with very many puzzles of day to day life, on the earth it self.Imagine for a moment, that by some strange event, one is pulled into anothe rbalck hole and another universe..Think of its consequences..Not to scare any one, but to drivehome the point that"katrathu kai man alavu,kallathathu ulagalvu".

Let us keep celebrating the moment of this day, in this erath in this universe to its fullest extent..
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better to spend ,rejoice than to save and loose

It is now almost 5 months from the date of death of my beloved elder brother.He suffered in silence till the end of his life, partly due to physical disabilities and partly due to mental tensions.In fact mental tensions used to haunt more than the physical constraints.Some one said that it is the health of the mind which leads to the health of the body.And that satement is absolutely true of him.

With all that still he had certain principles.One of them is to lead a life by himself,not withstanding the limitations caused by the physical disability.He has never stayed overnight in any house other than his own house in Chennai, from the time he came to lead a retired life in Chennai. Yes there was one exception, that was when he breathed his last, when his body was lying in peace at my house.The other principle that he followed was to have just a minimum money, for his needs.He would prefer to draw the requirements in one or more visits rather than drawing sufficient amount in one stretch.REASON is simple.Never over spend, beyond your means.And the best way to attain that is to have as little money as possible so that there is no temptation to go that extra long.

And now comes the reason for this post.With his principled life, he left behind some money in a savings account, a few insurance policies in his name etc.which he could have very well spent for his own little desires.Now , claim for the monies left by him is a long drawn process.

When some one is alive, we never think of the ultimate death, though we come across death every day in one way or other, in friend circle, in news media, in the relation circle and so on. Still we never think of its intensity and its after math.

Procedure for claim for the monies left , started with a visit to the near by Village panchayat office.They said that references and witnesses of a dozen people to be obtained on the forms given by them. This was done. Then they say that to process the papers the consent of thashildar to be obtained. This was done. then they give fresh forms and seek respectable persons sign them as further witnesses. This was done.Now they ask you to prove that you are the brother of the deceased as the death certificate do not contain a connotation to the effect that you tow were brothers.waht is the alternative?? BRING THE BIRTH CERTIFICATES TO ENSURE THAT FATHER OF BOTH IS ONE AND THE SAME.From Death to Birth!!

Enough!!

Better that we spend the hard earned money rathe rthan going in circles to prove that you are born to the same father..Cudos to our systems!!

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