Since child hood i have been always accompanying some one(Mostly my dad or my parental uncles) either to receive some one or bid fare well to some one else.When i look back down the memory lane, a few of them stand itched in memory while most of them had got drowned into oblivion.
While i had not gone thru any mental disturbances (positive or negative)due to such events of send off /welcome of late i had been experiencing some sence of happiness or sorrow whenever i go to send off some one or to receive some one.Whether it is due to age or whether it is due to the close bond of love and affection experienced, is a moot question.
My wife had her lines drawn up clearly. If it is to welcome some one, she will be inclined and if it is send off some one it will always be an emphatic no.Thus invariably i have to take the reins in my hand either to receive some one or to send off some one else.
My memories go back to my days spent in my village Asokapuri when all members from my dad down to all his brothers and their siblings who used to come to the big BANYAN tree either to receive some one or to give send off to some one. It used to be a bus called Natana Rani (translated as Dancing queen)whose drivers and conductors had the great regard and res pect for my dad and his brothers who were always known as Asokapuri mirasudars and by pet names such as Sivappaiar,bankiyer, karuppaiyar and so on.My wife who is a fan of Rajinikanth (WHILE I HAPPEN TO BE A FAN OF kamal) would still win an argument over me when it comes to any issues relating to Colour by saying that my father and her mother (who happens to be my father's elder daughter and my mother in law)are also black like Rajinikanth.Reason as to why my father is nick named as KARUPPAIYAR.
Sorry that i have digressed a bit.TO put it simply the timings of the bus used to be punctual and all of us used to be assembled near the banyan tree atleast half an hour before arrival/departure and would be excitedly involved in some conversation or other and now in retrospect it appears that all of them were stage managed by some one senior in the family, so that the pain of parting is not felt and the joy of union is also not overtly enjoyed.
Now that long prelude and comments are all reflections arising as a result of send offs and welcomes that i have been associated with in the past one year or so..It all started last year when my son (first) and daughter(next) left for Hongkong and USA in a span of 15 days. My daughter returned first after completing her project within a record 45 days to be just in time for her betrothal.My son returned later availing his annual leave in advance for my daughter’s marriage.He left exactly a week after the marriage and returned again last week to qualify for his doctorate at EFL, Hyderabad.Having successfully qualified for the same(one of the few doctorates at his age of 26)he left back for Hongkong today by theChennai- Kualalampur flight leaving at 12.30 pm.The same flight which i took about a decade back when i first landed in Hongkong.History keeps repeating itself.
And the feelings that arise as different points of time when you come to see off different persons, or the same person keeps changing all the time.Some times you were overjoyed. Some times you had a tinge of sorrow.Some other times it is a mixed bag of feelings.And the re4ason as to why a particular person feels in a particular manner is verey difficult to decipher.But with all my experience which i narrated in the earlier part of this post my feelings were under control or well balanced..or so i thought.And this time my only thought was about the next time when i will be visiting the airport to welcome my “doctor son.” This next trip of my son one is important to me,. as important as his recent visit, for by the next time he visits i expect him to have secured one more doctorate up his sleeves besides also earmarking for him some great heights and place in the history of linguistics and phonetics .This would ensure him to look at the world and those with whom he moved with , radiating confidence and self reliance.
And then there will be suitors waiting to win his hands, provided he is in the mind set to stop his academic pursuits at that time and decide to settle in to a harmonious family life.In the process there will be sighs from those who missed out on him and there will be competition amongst eligible girls to woo him.
If that be so where is the need to feel dejected or sad??And that is the reason i was feeling high and happy when i bade him good bye for i knew that when he comes back he will be a role model in many aspects including that of a great son to his dear parents.And the fact remains that the three days fever which made him/ rather forced him to cancel his flight and settle for a flight on the next day, according to me , is an indication that “DRUSTI KAZPPU “ had already happened which means he is free of the evil looks of the envied eyes.
The point therefore is that as and when we go to meet some one or send off some one let us wish all good luck to them with full of happiness and affection which enables a positive energy to engulf both the parties.
Showing posts with label evil.good feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label evil.good feelings. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
DEEPAVALI-PART 2
My earlier blog post on DEEPAVALI dated 4th NOV 2010 was a sort of an appetiser and this post is a follow up of the same.
This year , i did not celebrate Deepavali, as i have lost my beloved elder brother.Besides the little accident that i had , resulting in injuries on forehead and eyes have dampened the spirits further.And the fact that my son was away at Hyderabad(not that he is very fond of celebrating DEEPAVALI-SEE HIS BLOG ENDLESS HORIZONS on his views on the same subject)and the reality that possibly this would be my last occasion to celebrate Deepavali with my daughter (as perhaps next year she might be the worthy DIL of some other house hold)all left a feeling , a mixed one at that.At the end of all those thoghts i was a little puzzled and dazed at the same time as to whether i wanted to celebrate it or not.
And that brought me to my sences and a memory down the lane to recall how many times i have celebrated the festival with passion and how many of them i could really recall at this juncture.
The first memory i could recall with certain amount of certainty was when i was doing my scholling in CHENNAI.My BIL's brother who is no more now and who was such a pleasant and positive personality is the one whom i am reminded of now.He was running a commercial type writing institute in those days in the busy USMAN ROAD, at T.NAGAR. DEEPAVALI's arrival will be known well in advance as he used to run some cracker shops with his friends, more as fun than anything else.So atleast a week in advance the crackers of all sorts will be at home,and to add sweet memories to DEEPAVALI my sisters and the elder sister's daughter (who is my wife now)will all be spending their time in kitchen preparing various sweets and savouries.I still recall how earnestly they used to prepare atleast 3/4 types of sweets and 2/3 types of savouries.Infact what is prepared for Deepavali will last atleast oone month and used to take care of evening snacks' requirements for the next one month.
The chain of sweet shops one sees today are not heard of in those days.Infact neighbours will check with each other to check the sweets and savouries being prepared so that there will be no duplication when the delicacies are exchanged on the eve of deepavali.It was one such deepavali, when the whole family had retired to bed earlyto wake up next day morning(we used to get up at 2-3 am those days so as to claim that we were the first to burn crackers in that street ).It was midnight when there was continuous sound of crackers which was deafening.There was also noice of vessels being thrown about. It took a few minutes for us to realise when and where the sound is coming from.It was from the kitchen where we have kept the crackers on a stove(at low levels of burner) to keep the crakers warm to escape the rainy climate as there would invariably be rains around DEEPAVALI TIME.(This year the rains were delyed by 24 hrs.Ref JAL JAL). Crackers worth Rs 1000 (in those days) were burnt to ashes in no time and along with it all sweets and savouries prepared were all thrown down on the floor. The entire neghbour hood has ssembled in no time (as there used to be atleast 8 tenants in each house in those days).Fortunately the new clothes purchased were saved as they were kept near the pooja room.And the house is probaly really strong to have escaped any major disaster. There was not even a crack in the walls.By the time all of us have cleaned up the whole thing (after reckovering from the initial shocks)and were getting ready to have the GANGA SNANAM , there was the sound of an auto in front of the house. To our utter surprise my BILs brother has arrived , clad in his new garments, (white was his favourite) with another big box of latest variety of crackers, the sweets from the BOMBAY HALWA HOUSE(Only known sweet shop in those days)and the whole atmosphere sudenly changed from sort of gloom to overwhelming brightness and cheers.That was the first deepavali etched in my memory.I was about 12 years old then.
Exactly 13 years later when i turned 25, the scene shifted to Kolkatta, wherein i celebrated deepavali in the company of new find friends and in my latest passion Viz Tamil literary activities.Atleast a minimum of 20 houses would have invited for deepavali and in each house it was a case of warmth and hospitality at its peak. "Sevikku unavillatha pothu, sirithu vayitrukkum eeyappadum" STATEMENT WAS PROVED IN THAT NIGHT OF DEEPAVALI at Kolkatta.
The scene after 10 years , shifted back to Chennai.In the owned house, in the company of beloved son(who is to become the best friend in the later years) deepavali was celebrated taking care to ensure that the sound of crackers were kept minimal so as not to scare way the little child.An year later another joyful addition to the family , in the form of goddess laxmi,arrived and the circle is now complete. Thereafter each DEEPAVALI was an wonderful experience, acting the role of a husband, the role of a son and the role of a father to take care of the little needs of all around me.(ofcourse the major burden was handled by my beloved wife and my role is to say yes to what ever she says:))..
Deepavali after a couple of years in 1996 was noteworthy. That was the time when the news of Hongkong posting has been received. The undersigned flew from Delhi to Chennai to celebrate DEEPAVALI .No crakers, no sweets nothing. It was the closeness and warmth of the family knot, which was the hall mark of this Deepavali. The recognition that the next deepavali to be celebrated will be only after 3 -4 years (as i have decided to go alone to Hongkong due to family compulsions)added to the glitter and glory of the Deepavali, in 1996.
It was a long await thereafter. It was in 2002, when i returned back from Hongkong that we celebrated DEEPAVALI together as a family, after 5 years.The years in Hongkong saw again a repeat of KOLKTA days,the warmth and friendliness and the mantle worn by the undersigned as the President of Hongkong Tamil cultural association, enabled the undersigned to spend days of DEEPAVALI in great moods of happiness, not withstanding the seperation from the family.2002 will be remembered as the year when i celebrated DEEPAVALI with my grown up son and daughter(in their teens) and that was the time when i came to know that as a protest against child labour, my son has stopped burning of crakers.It was a new wisdom to me.
Next couple of years saw my daughter and son drifting away to various places in pursuit of career and thus Deepavali, just came and went year after year with no specific feelings associated with it.AS my son drew reference in his blog, the DEEPAVALI of 2007 was significant in the sence, me and my son were theretogether enjoying the cosy comforts of Hyderabad and its hospitality .
2o08 and 2009, less said the better. Both my son and daughter were away from us on their job compulsions.Personally and shychologically there were many challenges to be faced and conquered.Thus no real chrm in those years.
2010-The expected storm showed mercy and went away to some palce in AP.BUT THE SKY BECAME OVERCAST TO provide the right kind of back drop.AS i indicated in the earlier part of this blog, because of demise of my brother there is no Diwali for us. But atleast 3 new couples(including my cobrother's daughter who got wedded last Novemeber) were celebrating their THALAI DEEPAVALI. And two couples celebrating Thalai deepavali belong to my own street. In the last 25 years of my existence at MADIPAKKAM i have not seen such a DEEPAVALI , CELEBRATED WITH FRENZY AND FAN FARE. What started off as a mild sound of a cracker on Thrusday night became deafening as the night progressed and the entire sky had a colourfullook on the morning hours of Friday.It apapeared as if the entire city was celebrating to compensate for our inability to celebrate.
And at the end of the day when i retired to bed my mind was thinking about 2011 already..where it will be with whom it will be and so on..but the lesson of DEEPAVALI AS THE VICTORY OF GOOD OVER EVIL is already engraved in memory and with those prayers, i retired.
This year , i did not celebrate Deepavali, as i have lost my beloved elder brother.Besides the little accident that i had , resulting in injuries on forehead and eyes have dampened the spirits further.And the fact that my son was away at Hyderabad(not that he is very fond of celebrating DEEPAVALI-SEE HIS BLOG ENDLESS HORIZONS on his views on the same subject)and the reality that possibly this would be my last occasion to celebrate Deepavali with my daughter (as perhaps next year she might be the worthy DIL of some other house hold)all left a feeling , a mixed one at that.At the end of all those thoghts i was a little puzzled and dazed at the same time as to whether i wanted to celebrate it or not.
And that brought me to my sences and a memory down the lane to recall how many times i have celebrated the festival with passion and how many of them i could really recall at this juncture.
The first memory i could recall with certain amount of certainty was when i was doing my scholling in CHENNAI.My BIL's brother who is no more now and who was such a pleasant and positive personality is the one whom i am reminded of now.He was running a commercial type writing institute in those days in the busy USMAN ROAD, at T.NAGAR. DEEPAVALI's arrival will be known well in advance as he used to run some cracker shops with his friends, more as fun than anything else.So atleast a week in advance the crackers of all sorts will be at home,and to add sweet memories to DEEPAVALI my sisters and the elder sister's daughter (who is my wife now)will all be spending their time in kitchen preparing various sweets and savouries.I still recall how earnestly they used to prepare atleast 3/4 types of sweets and 2/3 types of savouries.Infact what is prepared for Deepavali will last atleast oone month and used to take care of evening snacks' requirements for the next one month.
The chain of sweet shops one sees today are not heard of in those days.Infact neighbours will check with each other to check the sweets and savouries being prepared so that there will be no duplication when the delicacies are exchanged on the eve of deepavali.It was one such deepavali, when the whole family had retired to bed earlyto wake up next day morning(we used to get up at 2-3 am those days so as to claim that we were the first to burn crackers in that street ).It was midnight when there was continuous sound of crackers which was deafening.There was also noice of vessels being thrown about. It took a few minutes for us to realise when and where the sound is coming from.It was from the kitchen where we have kept the crackers on a stove(at low levels of burner) to keep the crakers warm to escape the rainy climate as there would invariably be rains around DEEPAVALI TIME.(This year the rains were delyed by 24 hrs.Ref JAL JAL). Crackers worth Rs 1000 (in those days) were burnt to ashes in no time and along with it all sweets and savouries prepared were all thrown down on the floor. The entire neghbour hood has ssembled in no time (as there used to be atleast 8 tenants in each house in those days).Fortunately the new clothes purchased were saved as they were kept near the pooja room.And the house is probaly really strong to have escaped any major disaster. There was not even a crack in the walls.By the time all of us have cleaned up the whole thing (after reckovering from the initial shocks)and were getting ready to have the GANGA SNANAM , there was the sound of an auto in front of the house. To our utter surprise my BILs brother has arrived , clad in his new garments, (white was his favourite) with another big box of latest variety of crackers, the sweets from the BOMBAY HALWA HOUSE(Only known sweet shop in those days)and the whole atmosphere sudenly changed from sort of gloom to overwhelming brightness and cheers.That was the first deepavali etched in my memory.I was about 12 years old then.
Exactly 13 years later when i turned 25, the scene shifted to Kolkatta, wherein i celebrated deepavali in the company of new find friends and in my latest passion Viz Tamil literary activities.Atleast a minimum of 20 houses would have invited for deepavali and in each house it was a case of warmth and hospitality at its peak. "Sevikku unavillatha pothu, sirithu vayitrukkum eeyappadum" STATEMENT WAS PROVED IN THAT NIGHT OF DEEPAVALI at Kolkatta.
The scene after 10 years , shifted back to Chennai.In the owned house, in the company of beloved son(who is to become the best friend in the later years) deepavali was celebrated taking care to ensure that the sound of crackers were kept minimal so as not to scare way the little child.An year later another joyful addition to the family , in the form of goddess laxmi,arrived and the circle is now complete. Thereafter each DEEPAVALI was an wonderful experience, acting the role of a husband, the role of a son and the role of a father to take care of the little needs of all around me.(ofcourse the major burden was handled by my beloved wife and my role is to say yes to what ever she says:))..
Deepavali after a couple of years in 1996 was noteworthy. That was the time when the news of Hongkong posting has been received. The undersigned flew from Delhi to Chennai to celebrate DEEPAVALI .No crakers, no sweets nothing. It was the closeness and warmth of the family knot, which was the hall mark of this Deepavali. The recognition that the next deepavali to be celebrated will be only after 3 -4 years (as i have decided to go alone to Hongkong due to family compulsions)added to the glitter and glory of the Deepavali, in 1996.
It was a long await thereafter. It was in 2002, when i returned back from Hongkong that we celebrated DEEPAVALI together as a family, after 5 years.The years in Hongkong saw again a repeat of KOLKTA days,the warmth and friendliness and the mantle worn by the undersigned as the President of Hongkong Tamil cultural association, enabled the undersigned to spend days of DEEPAVALI in great moods of happiness, not withstanding the seperation from the family.2002 will be remembered as the year when i celebrated DEEPAVALI with my grown up son and daughter(in their teens) and that was the time when i came to know that as a protest against child labour, my son has stopped burning of crakers.It was a new wisdom to me.
Next couple of years saw my daughter and son drifting away to various places in pursuit of career and thus Deepavali, just came and went year after year with no specific feelings associated with it.AS my son drew reference in his blog, the DEEPAVALI of 2007 was significant in the sence, me and my son were theretogether enjoying the cosy comforts of Hyderabad and its hospitality .
2o08 and 2009, less said the better. Both my son and daughter were away from us on their job compulsions.Personally and shychologically there were many challenges to be faced and conquered.Thus no real chrm in those years.
2010-The expected storm showed mercy and went away to some palce in AP.BUT THE SKY BECAME OVERCAST TO provide the right kind of back drop.AS i indicated in the earlier part of this blog, because of demise of my brother there is no Diwali for us. But atleast 3 new couples(including my cobrother's daughter who got wedded last Novemeber) were celebrating their THALAI DEEPAVALI. And two couples celebrating Thalai deepavali belong to my own street. In the last 25 years of my existence at MADIPAKKAM i have not seen such a DEEPAVALI , CELEBRATED WITH FRENZY AND FAN FARE. What started off as a mild sound of a cracker on Thrusday night became deafening as the night progressed and the entire sky had a colourfullook on the morning hours of Friday.It apapeared as if the entire city was celebrating to compensate for our inability to celebrate.
And at the end of the day when i retired to bed my mind was thinking about 2011 already..where it will be with whom it will be and so on..but the lesson of DEEPAVALI AS THE VICTORY OF GOOD OVER EVIL is already engraved in memory and with those prayers, i retired.
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