LIFE
–MOST PRECIOUS GIFT
I normally avoid reading
news papers and avoid listening to any news from TV in the morning for obvious
reasons. It has become a habit for the media to concentrate on news item which
are sensational, populist or which had an underlying negativity to feed the
hungry minds to work on the same .
But today as I was going
to SEMMANCHERY to attend to a grahapravesam of one of my friend’s flats at GLF
GARDEN CITY (More on this later) simply
because of the long distance to be travelled I picked up a paper and I was
immediately upset on seeing the head
lines.
Besides a news item on
whether Dr Ma mohan singh is guilty or not on the ColGATE SCANDAL and another
on the protests to Mr Advani against his entry into CHENNAI (as he is
addressing a rally today at 3pm at CHENNAI as part of his action plan before
the parliamentary elections)by a section of so called secularists (both these
items of news invariably find a place every alternate day in different local
papers in different tones and hence do
not make much of an impact on the mind) the third item which caught my
attention was the suicide of technosavy girl in her mid twenties who had jumped
from the terrace of her office to commit suicide , near Siruseri , the place
which I was passing just then while reading the news item.
One thing is that earlier
also suicides were happening ,perhaps with out much of publicity thru media and
hence we were not aware of the same.There were also time and gain extensive
news coverage on deaths due to killing deceases, drought conditions and
nature’s fury like tsunami etc.However as compared to death due to other
factors , death due to suicide appear to be on the rise amongst younger generation
.This pains me a lot.
In most of the cases the
reason attributed is depression .While in some cases investigation led to love
failure of love as the reason behind depression, in majority of cases reasons
for depression itself is not known. I am not postulating that if there is a
reason for depression suicide is acceptable. On the contrary I am of the view that suicide due to any
reason (except in cases of extreme
suffering and pain due to ill health prolonging for long periods with no
certainty of cure when some had chosen to end their lives) is not the solution
.
The time duration when a
man or woman contemplates suicide may extend a day or a week or even month but
the critical point when it is actually committed takes only a few minutes. It
is these critical few minutes which matter a lot wherein love and affection and
a sense of belonging all are required to be exhibited by all those around in
abundance.
I am reminded of a movie
which came in eighties ‘DARLING DARLING”, A BHAGYA RAJ film. In the climax
scene the viewers would be made to think that the movie will be a tragedy as
the heroine races towards a cliff with the hero chasing her and crying her to
halt and the shots would freeze for a second when the heroine will go out of
the view from top of the cliff.In the next frame of the movie in the following
seconds, will emerge a beautiful highway just on the other side of cliff and the couple will start
walking along with their hands locking each other’s in a symbolic
representation of love , affection, care and what not. I wish the cinematic
climax happens in real life too.
Rather I believe the
difference between death and life itself is only the time taken for a “breath”.
When this breath is forcibly stopped death strikes and when we allow it to continue
life unfolds. And what is achieved in death which can not be achieved in life??
Is death a solution to all problems?? What happens to all those who were
showing their love and affection all along?? What happened to all dreams and
ambitions nurtured all long??If 25years of life, relationships, studies and job
/career had not helped in those vital movements to hold on to one’s breath what
a tragedy it is !!
Unless one hates the
world to such an extent or a person believes that nothing in this world is near
and dear to him(her) the thought of suicide will never be there. And mind you
that these people go into long silence and become totally engrossed in their
own thoughts at his period of time where as this is the time for them to come
out and mingle. This is the time to share . THIS IS THE TIME TO REITERATE TO
THEMSELVES ABOUT THE VICOTRY ANS SUCCESS THEY TASTED, LOVE AND AFFECTION THEY
ENJOYED, AND ALL THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THIS WORLD INCLUDING A RAISING SUN, A
LOVELY BUTTERFLY. A GARDEN FULL OF DEW, A FLOWING RIVER, A LOVELY HILLOCK, AN
WONDERFUL NOVEL, A BLOOMING FLOWER, A GOOD FOOD, A CUP OF STRAMING COFFEE OR
TEA WITH RAINS TO PLAY THE TUNES,A FRIEND WHO STOOD BY, A DEED WELL DONE, A
MISTAKE FORGIVEN AND SO ON AND SO FORTH.
That would have stopped
the extreme step .
Every one of us at some
point of time in life feel like quitting.It is better to live fight and loose
rather than losing without even a semblance of fight.Life is a gift. Gifts are
not to be thrown away. It is to be treasured and nurtured.And let us all do
whatever is possible to extend a helping hand to those in moments of depression
as death is temporary while life is permanent. Yes life has a permanence value
to it if lived properly and death which is invited is devoid of all values.
It is easy to pluck a
life, why even hundred and thousands of lives can be plucked in no time. But IT
IS DIFFICULT, WELL IMPOSSIBLE TO CREATE A LIFE
.And that is enough reason prove and protect the value of LIFE!
Appa,
ReplyDeleteYou had written another post on emotional health and depression sometime ago. I desperately wanted to comment on it, but stayed my hand. However, I must comment on this one.
Till a few years ago, I was under the impression - like you - that seeking death is not the solution for anything. But in that line of thinking lies the paradox: depressives want death, not because they do not want to live, but because they want the darkness, the recurrent battles with inner fear, the self-doubt, the compulsive interrogation of one's life and world and so on to disappear. I am not supporting what this girl did; but whereas a few years ago, I would have judged her, I would not do so anymore (I am not saying you have judged her, but only stating my neutrality clearly).
One telling point you have made in the post is: "in majority of cases reasons for depression itself is not known." Depression works in mysterious ways, and even seasoned psychologists and health experts often make wrong diagnoses, not because they lack the necessary skills, but because mental illness is, despite the advances being made, largely a grey area. So... when experts in a field have no clue what the hell is going on, how is the poor soul suffering from depression day in and day out supposed to carry on?!
You ask: "What happened to all dreams and ambitions nurtured all long??If 25years of life, relationships, studies and job /career had not helped in those vital movements to hold on to one’s breath what a tragedy it is!!" These are things that only a person rational enough can contemplate. When someone is in the fold of depression - I have some clue, and I have been reading upon the subject - reason is automatically kicked to the kerbside; such a person is simply not capable of thinking like normal people do and it is not fair to expect him/her to do so.
Yes, suicides are deeply disturbing, and I agree with you on that. However, rather than speaking of what someone should or should not have done, we would all be better served by offering whatever support we can for people afflicted with dark ailments of the mind.
I will end with a quote from someone (a British journalist, if I recall correctly) who has constantly battled depression and is still alive: "I would not wish it [depression] on my my worst enemy," he says (or something along those lines). Nor would I.
Just to add to yesterday's comment, appa. I don't know how I missed the following lines:
ReplyDelete"Every one of us at some point of time in life feel like quitting.It is better to live fight and loose rather than losing without even a semblance of fight."
It is a misconception - if not always, at least often enough - that people who give up on life have lost "without even a semblance of fight." In a number of cases, it is the very fighting that tires them.
On a related note, I read recently that growing up with a mental illness is like being in a dark room with a window and a locked door through which one can watch seasons change and people grow up, fall in love, fail and succeed. The catch is that there is no key to open the door - one has to keep pounding on it for it to open. More often than not, people who have experienced any sort of mental illness for any length of time do not have any energy to keep pounding.
I agree with your concluding quote and wish that no more person be subjected to the ills of depression.
ReplyDeleteMy entire mail is not a judgement upon the girl but a reflection on the systemic problems which had probably driven this girl to this end.
My sorrow deepens at the thought that very often even when helping hands and voices are extended these are scoffed by the people who were suffering on the pretext that the real pain of depression could not be understood by the so called sympathisers.
The fact the fire will burn need not necessarily be understood by some one getting hurt in a fire,
I only recall Poet Bharathi/s words;
"Nallathore veenai seithe adhai nalam keda puzhudhiyil erivathundo??SOLLADI SIVASAKTHI!!
Let the joint prayers of hearts like yours and mine bring peace and harmony to the souls depressed and enable them to overcome the same.
Just one thought in response to this line: "My sorrow deepens at the thought that very often even when helping hands and voices are extended these are scoffed by the people who were suffering on the pretext that the real pain of depression could not be understood by the so called sympathisers."
ReplyDeleteSympathy is a good starting point (but little more than that!); and scoffing at it is bad, I agree... but when one attributes the word pretext to those suffering from depression, one commits the cardinal error of thinking that depressives want to continue to be depressed - and therefore they show contempt towards people who try to offer whatever little help they can.
This is clearly not so: often, there is no clear pattern to the way depressives behave, just as there is no pattern to the way children behave... But whereas we see the lack of pattern as wonderful in children, more of us than I care to think of find it intolerable in people suffering from emotional and mental sicknesses.
The moment I posted the blog, I knew I had used the wrong word"pretext".
DeleteYou are too quick to point it out. Sorry for that blunder which completely devastates the picture that I created on my impressions of suicide. Perhaps instead of the word pretext, an apt word may be "mis construed notion".I turst my message is better read now.