LIFE-THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFT

LIFE –MOST  PRECIOUS GIFT

I normally avoid reading news papers and avoid listening to any news from TV in the morning for obvious reasons. It has become a habit for the media to concentrate on news item which are sensational, populist or which had an underlying negativity to feed the hungry minds to work on the same .

But today as I was going to SEMMANCHERY to attend to a grahapravesam of one of my friend’s flats at GLF GARDEN CITY (More on this later)  simply because of the long distance to be travelled I picked up a paper and I was immediately upset on seeing the  head lines.

Besides a news item on whether Dr Ma mohan singh is guilty or not on the ColGATE SCANDAL and another on the protests to Mr Advani against his entry into CHENNAI (as he is addressing a rally today at 3pm at CHENNAI as part of his action plan before the parliamentary elections)by a section of so called secularists (both these items of news invariably find a place every alternate day in different local papers in different tones  and hence do not make much of an impact on the mind) the third item which caught my attention was the suicide of technosavy girl in her mid twenties who had jumped from the terrace of her office to commit suicide , near Siruseri , the place which I was passing just then while reading the news item.

One thing is that earlier also suicides were happening ,perhaps with out much of publicity thru media and hence we were not aware of the same.There were also time and gain extensive news coverage on deaths due to killing deceases, drought conditions and nature’s fury like tsunami etc.However as compared to death due to other factors , death due to suicide appear to be on the rise amongst younger generation .This pains me a lot.

In most of the cases the reason attributed is depression .While in some cases investigation led to love failure of love as the reason behind depression, in majority of cases reasons for depression itself is not known. I am not postulating that if there is a reason for depression suicide is acceptable. On the contrary I  am of the view that suicide due to any reason  (except in cases of extreme suffering and pain due to ill health prolonging for long periods with no certainty of cure when some had chosen to end their lives) is not the solution .

The time duration when a man or woman contemplates suicide may extend a day or a week or even month but the critical point when it is actually committed takes only a few minutes. It is these critical few minutes which matter a lot wherein love and affection and a sense of belonging all are required to be exhibited by all those around in abundance.

I am reminded of a movie which came in eighties ‘DARLING DARLING”, A BHAGYA RAJ film. In the climax scene the viewers would be made to think that the movie will be a tragedy as the heroine races towards a cliff with the hero chasing her and crying her to halt and the shots would freeze for a second when the heroine will go out of the view from top of the cliff.In the next frame of the movie in the following seconds, will emerge a beautiful highway just on the other  side of cliff and the couple will start walking along with their hands locking each other’s in a symbolic representation of love , affection, care and what not. I wish the cinematic climax happens in real life too.

Rather I believe the difference between death and life itself is only the time taken for a “breath”. When this breath is forcibly stopped death strikes and when we allow it to continue life unfolds. And what is achieved in death which can not be achieved in life?? Is death a solution to all problems?? What happens to all those who were showing their love and affection all along?? What happened to all dreams and ambitions nurtured all long??If 25years of life, relationships, studies and job /career had not helped in those vital movements to hold on to one’s breath what a tragedy it is !!

Unless one hates the world to such an extent or a person believes that nothing in this world is near and dear to him(her) the thought of suicide will never be there. And mind you that these people go into long silence and become totally engrossed in their own thoughts at his period of time where as this is the time for them to come out and mingle. This is the time to share . THIS IS THE TIME TO REITERATE TO THEMSELVES ABOUT THE VICOTRY ANS SUCCESS THEY TASTED, LOVE AND AFFECTION THEY ENJOYED, AND ALL THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THIS WORLD INCLUDING A RAISING SUN, A LOVELY BUTTERFLY. A GARDEN FULL OF DEW, A FLOWING RIVER, A LOVELY HILLOCK, AN WONDERFUL NOVEL, A BLOOMING FLOWER, A GOOD FOOD, A CUP OF STRAMING COFFEE OR TEA WITH RAINS TO PLAY THE TUNES,A FRIEND WHO STOOD BY, A DEED WELL DONE, A MISTAKE FORGIVEN AND SO ON AND SO FORTH.

That would have stopped the extreme step .   

Every one of us at some point of time in life feel like quitting.It is better to live fight and loose rather than losing without even a semblance of fight.Life is a gift. Gifts are not to be thrown away. It is to be treasured and nurtured.And let us all do whatever is possible to extend a helping hand to those in moments of depression as death is temporary while life is permanent. Yes life has a permanence value to it if lived properly and death which is invited is devoid of all values.  

It is easy to pluck a life, why even hundred and thousands of lives can be plucked in no time. But IT IS DIFFICULT, WELL IMPOSSIBLE TO CREATE A LIFE  .And that is enough reason prove  and protect the value of LIFE!

 

trip to thirukkadayur=Answer to ??

Reason one is to have dharshan of Lord Sani bhagwan and seek his blessings at Thirunallaru , which is hardly 30 minutes travel distance from Thirukkadayur and the second reason is to rejoice in the company of my beloved grand son Botashu!

And I should say that I accomplished both. From the time I landed at TAMBARAM to board the train and took charge of Botashu till we departed after the function most of the memorable time was spent in the company of Botashu. His smiles, his vocabulary, his occasional shyness which is a treat to watch, his loud mouthing of bamabthu  Thhaththaa and Uba paattii, his rendition of the sound of train as “dadadidi”, viewing the sky for “abeetin”(his way of identity of aeroplane) all kept us engrossed and enthusiastic through out the first day. But when the events of the first day went up to midnight and when the adults themselves started feeling tired and exhausted one could imagine the discomfort of the child.Despite the same he got up next morning also at 5.30 am(already started having symtoms of fever) and kept company till we departed for the train.Then the tiredness, appetite and fever took hold of him and he obviously returned to his mother’s warmth who herself was feeling exhausted and tired.

By the time we landed at Egmore an uneasy silence prevailed , an indication of the love and affection that every one had towards Botashu as each had been affected by his fever coupled with their own exhaustion of journey.

We reached our home at midnight with prayers to God and Goddess to bless him with great health and wonderful time ahead .

By the time we retired to bed , BOTASHU appeared in dreams to call his thaaththaa and to assure  hiS THATHTHAA that “all is going to be  well”!

And all will turn out to be well too!!Thanks to this little darling BOTASHU!

a trip to thirukkadayur to coinside with ?

A TRIP TO THIRUKKADAUR

I had the opportunity of visiting Thirukkadayur during the week end.I thought of sharing the same with you all on this day when I am borne in this world (11^th October).This comes with my blessings to all those who are younger to me and seeking blessings from all those who are elder to me!

Thirukkakdayur(Also named as Thrukkadavur) is known among atheists for two important reasons:

The place is situated at an hour’s drive from Mayavaram (alias MAYURAM alias Mayiladuthurai) .The name for MAAYURAM is derived from Mayurm(the bird peacock) as this place was once inhabited by  pecocks dancing to the tune of sun and rain gods and hence the present name MAYILADU(M)THURAI. Of course I could not spot even one during my journey!As writer Sujatha said in one of his novels what we witness is a transformation to Concrete jungles from natural jungles and in the process the original inhabitants of these places had gone elsewhere or perished too.

a)    Thirukkadyaur is the place where LORD SHIVA blessed MARGANDEYA with eternal LONGIVITY,THEREBY FREEING HIM FROM THE GOD OF DEATH ‘EMAN” .MARGANDEAYA was also blessed tobe ever in the age of 16(Endrum pathinaru)I.e youth till the whole life).

 

Lord Shiva bless his disciples from here in the form of Amirtha kateshawarar. Because of this act of Shiva he is worshipped her as KALA SAMHARA MOORTHY….God who had conquered time as Lord of death is also known as “KALAN” as he always acts on time to bring  death at the appointed time, irrespective of caste, creed ,religion etc.

 

 

b)    This is the place where Goddess Abhirami (Blessing in the form of Balamabigai)came to the rescue of her disciple to prove his words as correct (Abirami butter in his worship of Goddess Abhirami was dazzled by her SHININING beauty and hence described the night as POURNAMI (Full moon day)when the king challenged him to prove it as the said night was in fact  an AMAVSYA.(New moon day). The king said that Abhirami butter would face grave consequences (including death) if he failed to prove what he said.

 

At this Goddess threw her nose ring to the sky which made the sky to be illuminated like pournami with the ornament of GOD looking like Moon. On this grand sight the king understood the greatness of Bakthi of Abirami butter and his life was spared . Abirami Andhadhi,(100 songs in praise of goddess)in praise of Goddess was thus borne here.                                           

 

தமிழகத்து ஆலயங்களில் மிகச்சிலவே பிரபலமாகவும், அதிக வருமானம் ஈட்டுமிடமாகவும் இருக்கின்றன. பக்தர்கள் வேண்டுதலை நிறைவேற்ற பழனி போன்ற சில கோயில்கள். நம்முடைய பூர்வீக நம்பிக்கையின் அடிப்படையில் திருமணம், சஷ்டியப்தபூர்த்தி, சதாபிஷேகம், கனகாபிஷேகம் போன்ற நிகழ்ச்சிகளை நடத்திக்கொள்வதில் மக்கள் அதிகம் தேர்ந்தெடுத்துக்கொள்வது திருக்கடவூர் எனும் தலம். இங்கு காலசம்ஹாரமூர்த்தியாகவும், அமிர்தகடேஸ்வரராகவும் விளங்கும் சிவபெருமானும், அபிராமியம்மையும் இவ்வுலகம் வாழ அருள் புரிந்து வருகிறார்கள். மிகப்பெரிய இவ்வாலயம் திருக்கயிலாயப் பரம்பரை திருத்தருமையாதீனத்துக்குச் சொந்தமானது. வைத்தீஸ்வரன்கோயில், திருவையாறு ஆகிய சில பிரபலமான கோயில்களும் இம்மடத்துக்குச் சொந்தமானது. இங்கு சிவபெருமான் மார்க்கண்டனுக்காக எமனை சம்ஹாரம் செய்தத் தலமாதலால், மேற்படி நிகழ்ச்சிகளை இங்கு நடத்திக் கொள்வதில் மக்களுக்கு அதிக நம்பிக்கை.

மக்களின் நம்பிக்கையிலும் எந்தத் தவறும் இல்லை. ஒவ்வொரு நாளும் இக்கோயிலில் பல்லாயிரக்கணக்கான பகதர்கள் வந்து போகிறார்கள். தினசரி பத்து முதல் இருபது குடும்பங்களாவது இங்கு சஷ்டியப்தபூர்த்தி, சதாபிஷேகம் என்று செய்து கொள்கிறார்கள். அப்படி செய்து கொள்ளும் ஒவ்வொரு குடும்பத்தோடும் சுமார் ஐம்பது முதல் நூறும் அதற்கு மேற்பட்ட உறவினர்களும் வந்து கூடுகிறார்கள். இந்த ஆலயத்தின் சந்நிதியில் இருக்கும் சிவாச்சாரியார்களின் இல்லங்கள் எல்லாம் பெரிதாகவும், இதுபோன்ற நிகழ்ச்சிகளுக்கு ஏற்பாடு செய்து தரவும் வேண்டி மிகவும் வளமாகக் காட்சி தருகின்றன. இறைவனுக்குத் தொண்டு செய்யும் அடியார்கள் வளமாகவும், மகிழ்ச்சியுடனும் வாழ்வதைக் காண்பது மிகவும் மகிழ்ச்சிக்குரிய விஷயம் தான்.

One could thus see that both GOD AND GODEES in this temple had helped their disciples to over come deat or more particularly the fear of death.

And that is the singular reason why this temple is chosen by all those who would like to have the Shastiaptha poorthy(60 years completion),Beemartha shanthi (70 years completion)Vijaya Ratha shanthi(75 years completion),Sadhabhishekam (on completion of 80 years ) celebrations ,to be conducted in this heavenly soil. 

I went to participate in the celebrations of my sambhandhi and realized immediately as to why this place is such a crowd puller. The temple itself was a gigantic impressive structure .

Once you enter the temple you are transcended to a different world  of MELA VADHYAM (Holy music), Vedha Ghosham(Vedic Hymns) and Holy air filling your nostrils (arising out of incence sticks and continuous pyres lit for performing Homams  besides the Karpoora aradhanai at every deity.

You have to indicate the date and time of arrival. And every ting is taken care of (of course for a fee).The fee is immaterial compared to satisfaction one gets at the end of attending the event.Right from the time the couple (celebrating the event )entered the temple till the point of time when the whole event comesto an end, it is like a marriage celebrated with full devotion and attention, blessed every moment by the presence of almighty.

7

RANDOM THOUGHTS-ANALYSIS OF SELF

Random Thoughts

( As a result of going thru some thoughts of OSHO and works of  Sigmunt Fread –whose 74^th death anniversary fell on Sep 23^rd )

Time and again we come across success and defeat in our own lives and in lives of others .

It is also customary to rejoice on a success and to brood over the defeat.

Seldom people appear to realize that success and defeat are the two sides of same coin and

What is important is the efforts that had been put in. Easier said than done.

Success is 90% efforts and 10 % luck and defeat is 89% efforts and 11% luck. This percentage could be anything .That is immaterial. What is material is to realize that something else is required for success over and above the efforts and that something else alone also cannot guarantee success without efforts.

ANY ONE knows what it is to put efforts , but then What is this something else which goes along with efforts?

Some call it luck, some call it as divine blessings and some call it as essence of time and persistent belief in one’s capacity and confidence levels.. I ventured to analyse my life, its best and worst moments. And even when I used these words as ‘ best and worst’ something within me is taunting me against the said usage.  As someone said success gives us happiness while defeats teach us life lasting lessons. And hence whether success or defeat, what is important is the way we handle them.

Here comes a self analysis:

I will divide this into three categories, personal front, academic front and career front. While a water tight segregation is difficult as there will always be crossing between these segments, I shall strive to keep within described boundaries to the possible extent.

Personal front:

The worst was the time when I entered into some violent inter personal conflicts. Instead of understanding that there could be a failure on my part to impress and win over,  and that there are ways and means to honestly try for reconciliation , I had resorted to fault finding and entered in to a war of complexes. AS IS ALWAYS NOTICED once u see beauty, u do not see ugliness and once you see ugliness you do not see beauty. The essence however is that beauty and ugliness are however in the eye of the beholder and the object of view always inherited  both ugliness and beauty. Therefore it is a choice to look and nourish the element of beauty or to focus on ugliness and blow it out of proportion. Once  the interpersonal relationship is extended to other platforms on a larger scale  the blunder of the earlier mistake and the resultant conflict/defeat was noticed/recognized. Recognition of the same is the lesson from the defeat which led to happiness and success thereafter.

It taught me to look for infirmities and inconsistencies first within and not to be bothered about it but to handle it with confidence.. …as every human being has these traits, only the degree varies!And nothing or nobody is perfect in this world ..Perfection is an illusion!!

 

Academic  front :

Harmony on personal front is very important for satisfaction and success on other fronts. Despite the resources constraint which I had to face all most throughout my academic front  I was having an inner happiness and peace on the personal front. This enabled me to move from one mile stone to other with ease and comfort on the academics except at two most critical periods. Once when I changed my discipline from pursuit of arts to pursuit of engineering while in school and next when I failed in my professional pursuits when I badly wanted to pass it in one stroke.

I did an analysis of what made me fail. Everything around me was the same (Lack of resources, separation from family, no light to future directions all remained as they were ). But with all these I had succeeded earlier and now I had failed. Hence the answer to this draw back goes to  “I”,  A VERY SIMPLE AND STRONG  ANSWER. I acknowledged it, I owned the failure and did not stop there , went a little ahead to study the reason for the same. When I switched from one discipline to another, there was a deep anxiety in me that I should succeed at any cost and cannot afford to fail as it is my decision to switch over. THIS very anxiety became counterproductive.

 In the second case I wanted to be a winner in  a marathon having prepared only for a 100 meter running race. The knowledge of failure, the recognition of my part in it  and pinpointing the reasons for it all enabled me to do it better next time, by leaving out the anxiety and by acknowledging the fact that different  tests require different approaches. I came out winning thereafter and I stopped celebrating them since I knew there could be many who took the race with me but who had been left behind , because they were not knowing that “some thing”.

It taught me empathy.It taught me to handle defeat and victory on the same footing .It made me a balanced personality.

Professional front

By the time one could smoothly ride out of the personal front and the academic front, it would appear that riding the professional front would be much easier. However it is another complex world where in you are thrown to gether with so many who are in different horizons experiencing the conflicts and anxieties till then unresolved or possibly invented at the new place of work.

My worst period here could be termed as my initial decade of association wherein promotions were not forthcoming, transfers were imminent and expected to take place at the most inconvenient periods, recognition was not only denied but was distributed to those who in my opinion did not deserve them. It was a much larger battle and the opposition was much tougher. One had to continuously reiterate to themselves that there is nothing lacking in them in the first place and the next step is to make those potential known to all and sundry by whatever method possible by seizing the opportunities however small they may be. A question which used to haunt those times will be “Why this rat race “..why not I keep away ??

ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION MAY DIFFER FROM INDIVIDIAL TO INDIVIDUAL. It depends on one’s mindset and in what one aspires for harmony .If one is contended in being pushed over for no fault of theirs and still could see happiness in others’ going forward (with genuine peace of mind)there is no problem. If however the Darwin theory of survival of fittest is what is goading an individual, then they should be prepared to play the games which corporate culture require them to play. No offence meant please!It is those who were caught between the deep sea and devil and who could not get out of it start feeling frustrated and depressed. Time and again it is reiterated that attitude makes or mars every thing.

Choice to remain happy or depressed is on me and on no body else!!

And here comes the final CATCH!

It would appear most difficult to gain an entry in the first place. ONCE YOU HAVE GAINED IT , ALL FORCES REVOLVE AROUND YOU , IN ALL MOST ALL CASES. THE MOMENTUM THEN TAKES OVER AND EVEN IF YOU WANT TO STOP YOU ARE PUSHED UPWARDS (AT TIMES EVEN WHEN YOU ARE CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU ARE )….And there is a price to be paid for every thing..is it not?

Let me conclude with some thoughts of Freud:

“A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to get in to accord with them. They are legitimately what directs his conduct in the world”

“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength”

“One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful”

So far so good and the beautiful life is ahead  of me /you all to make the best of it !